Crack Love
by Psy t r a n c e
Summary: Different oneshots and drabbles on cracked and canon Bleach pairings! Please read and review and even request a pairing you want done! Feel the crack love!
1. Haze of pink

A/N: Yo minna! This is the first of a number of installments of crack pairings (I'm a canon and crack supporter!) I'm going to do! Although it's entitled Crack Love it may have some canon pairings as well! This is kind of an experiment, you could say.

Pleas review and give your opinions or crack/canon pairing suggestions!

Crack Love: Installment one

Haze of pink

Kira frowned, not looking up as he heard an annoying, whiney voice next to him

"Kira-chan! Kira-chan! Come play with me!"

"Sorry Kusijaki-fukutaichou, I'm busy right now." He said calmly, keeping his gaze down.

Yachiru pouted next to him. "Come on Kira-chan, play with me! We'll have looooooooots of fun!"

Kira's frown deepened, this was a VERY important assignment which Ichimaru-taichou had informed him, with a creepier than usual grin, was to be on his desk by tomorrow morning.

"Kusijaku-fukutaichou I'm _busy_" he emphasized the word, promptly growling and crumpling his current sheet of paper, tossing it into the bin.

"Aw come on" the annoying voice was right in his ear now "PLAAAAAAAY WITH ME!"

Kira's hand which had just grabbed another sheet of paper crunched it in effect.

"I'm **sorry** _Kusijaku-kukutaichou _but I'm busy!"

The voice was now at his side, the pink-haired owner tugging at his sleeve. Hard.

"Play.Play.Play.Play.Play.Play.Play.Play!" she repeated stubbornly in that whiney voice.

_Great…now she's gone into repetition mode…don't loose your temper…don't loose your temper…imagine what that bastard Zaraki-taichou will do if you loose it with his little girl…_

As if reading his mind, Yachiru stopped her repetition abruptly. "I'll tell Ken-chan you're a meanie and you didn't want to play!" she said with a cross little face.

Kira visibly sagged. This assignment would have to wait until later.

Brushing the paper and pens aside, he sighed. "Ok, but only for a little bit!"

Perking up, Yachiru grinned broadly and hopped neatly up onto his desk in front of him.

"What are we playing?" he asked, wearily, rubbing a hand against his forehead.

Yachiru mischievously held up a plastic western-styled prince crown, red cape and toy sword.

"I'm gonna be Cinderella!" she declared, nodding "and you're the prince, just like the story I made Ken-chan read me!"

She bundled the things into his hands while she held up a shining blue fancy, play- dress.

He sat before her, perplexed.

"What?" he asked.

"**I can't change when you're watching!**"

"Oh! Sorry, sorry!" he said quickly, turning around in his seat.

A giggle could be heard behind him. "Put on _your_ things Kira-chan!"

Several minutes later he was on the floor next to his desk, awkwardly sporting a toy sword at his hips instead of his zanpakutoh, a short red cape tucked into the back collar of his Shinigami robes and a tiny sparkly crown on his head.

Yachiru stood before him dressed in her blue dress and some black high heels that were too big for her. "Kira-chan looks handsome in those clothes!" she said, smiling childishly.

Kira blushed slightly, out of embarrassment but more at the compliment.

"What do we-"

"Now we dance!" Yachiru interrupted, answering him.

Kira stretched down his arms and Yachiru, even in high heels, gripped only one index finger in each small hand. They began to dance a slightly awkward version of a waltz, Kira having to tip toe each step as not to trod on her toes.

Yachiru smiled up at him, sweetly, Kira thought.

Yachiru suddenly pouted. "Kira-chan, this isn't riiiight, lift me up, so I can hold your shoulders!"

Huffing, Kira bent down and picked her up, hoping Zaraki wasn't anywhere near, god knew what he would do if he found anyone beside himself pick up his _little Yachiru_.

"Kusijaku-fukutaichou!" Kira gasped as Yachiru locked her small arms around his neck, in the way a grown woman would do.

"Princess Cinderella!" she corrected him as he adjusted his hold on the small of her back, tingeing pink.

"Now the prince and Princess Cinderella have to kiss!" she announced in a tone that suggested it was the best part of all.

Kira's blush drained to a pale colour at that, he hadn't agreed to _this_.

"Kusija-I mean Princess Cinderella, do they **_have_** to kiss!" he asked disdainfully.

Yachiru nodded, head bobbing up and down enthusiastically. She scrunched up her eyes, puckering up her lips in a waiting stance.

Swallowing Kira leaned and placed a quick, barely there peck on her forehead.

Yachiru opened her eyes immediately.

"Nooo! That's not how they kiss!" she said in a whiney tone, as though he was ruining everything "_This_ is how they kiss!"

Before Kira could react she placed 2 small hands on the sides of his face she jerked his head forward, sending his small crown crashing to the floor, and placed her little lips on his.

Kira gasped, eyes widened, gazing at the little girl with her eyes closed.

He felt a tiny tongue sliding past his lips, tickling his tongue tip.

Then before he realized it she had pulled away from him and jumped out of his arms onto the ground.

"Okay! Thanks Kira-chan! I wanna go find Ken-chan now!" Yachiru cried loudly.

Then all too quickly she clattered out the office in her lagging high heels, totally forgetting about the rest of her dress up things.

Kira's cheeks were tinged scarlet, long fingers placed lightly over his lips, a faraway look in his eyes.

Without registering it he abruptly moved from his stationary position and sat back at his desk. He wasn't sure when it had exactly happened but the forgotten cloak; sword and crown lay in a neatly folded pile next to his desk.

_I…got my first kiss from Kusijaku-fukutaichou… …from Yachiru…?_

He pulled out paper and got on with his assignment in silence.

---

Owari

A/N: Well, here's the first installment! Sorry, I'm not perverted and I didn't mean to make Kira a pedophile or anything. I think Kira/Yachiru could be quite sweet in the anime, perhaps if Yachiru was a little bit older…

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and please review and tell me what you think!

Please feel free to request a crack pairing for me to do, it can be anything, heck it can even be Isshin/Aizen! Feel the crack love!


	2. I'll hit you!

Crack Love: Installment 2

Pairing: Renji/Tatsuki

Dedicated to: BloodHeron

A/N: Well, here is installment 2 to Crack Love! I was originally, due to popular demand, gonna do Ichigo/Yoruichi but the inspiration has yet to come to me for them, although I will be doing one for them!

Rest assured ya'll I'll be answering to everyone's requested pairings, so keep checking back to see when yours is posted up which should be soon!

**Title: I'll hit you!**

The first day Renji had stepped into the classroom, he was physically fighting with Ichigo by first break. "You freakin' idiot!" Renji had yelled, coming down with a kick, which Ichigo dodged "My hair is deep red not tomato red!" "Whatever!" Ichigo had yelled back, grabbing Renji's leg and twisting it "My hair is not strawberry-orange!"

"Bastard!" They had both yelled. Most of the other classmates were nervously avoiding them as they backed and jumped around the classroom, while others ignored them.

Hitsugaya sat in the far corner of the classroom, being the natural loner he was, "checking for arrancar" but actually discovering the frustration and wonder of cellphone games. Matsumoto was being charmed by Keigo and Mizuiro who felt like they had hit a _goldmine_, while Rukia simply rolled her eyes at their antics and sat with Ikkaku, Yumichika, Inoue and Tatsuki.

"That's it!" Renji had yelled, his cheeks burning "How dare you call me that, brat! I'm gonna make ya pay through the nose!" He raised his balled fist and brought it down.

Only to have it stopped.

"Eh?" Renji blinked and looked around. A spiky, black-haired girl stood behind him with a frown on her face. Her small hand clutched his wrist firmly.

"Eh? What the…?" Renji started, but the girl butted in.

"No fighting in the classroom." She said stiffly "You're scaring people."

Renji blinked, letting this sink in. "This ain't none of your goddamn business!" he said angrily, wrenching his wrist away from her.

The girl stepped between them, pushing them away from each other. "Your hair is orange, Ichigo" she said, jabbing her thumb at Ichigo, who simply frowned and folded his arms

"And **_you_**" she said, rounding on Renji "Your hair is-" she paused "-tomato red!"

Ichigo smirked at Renji while the red-haired Shinigami went as bright as his hair

"Y-YOU-" he started, sputtering, reaching out for her.

She raised a hand and gutted him in the stomach, causing him to "oof!" and clutch his stomach.

Smirking, the girl turned around. "Problem solved." She said, going back to sit with a laughing Rukia.

He felt Ichigo pat him on the back. "Don't worry, it's a lesson every guy has learned sooner or later. Never mess with Tatsuki."

Leaving him, Renji stood there, contemplating what had just happened.

_A…a **human** hit me…and it **actually** hurt… _

---

For the next few days Abarai Renji spent all his effort trying to get this Tatsuki girl back.

Ignoring Rukia who told him Tatsuki Arisawa was very nice and that he had behaved like an ass and deserved it (and ignoring the fact that he thought Arisawa was a rather nice name) he felt he needed to avenge his Shinigami pride.

On the first day, Tuesday, Renji tried to file behind her, wherever she went, sticking out his foot and trying to trip her. Miraculously though as she fell forward, she grabbed his hand from behind and steadied herself. Renji froze at the contact and Tatsuki, fuming, spun around and smacked him over the head before walking away.

Renji's head was throbbing hot at the smack, yet his hand felt warmer.

Renji-0 Tatsuki-2

---

On Wednesday Renji tried hiding behind corners, ambushing her and trying to give her frights. Yes, it was pretty childish once he thought about it, but it wasn't as though he cared.

After having enough of Tatsuki raising her thin perfected eyebrows at him (making her chocolate brown eyes look bigger and more alluring) every time he would jump out of the corner at her, he decided to try hitting her. (Not hard of course, he _was_ a gentleman after all)

"Oi! Tatsuki!" he yelled, ready to raise his fist. Tatsuki spun around and immediately dodged his punch, tugging his arm and flipping him over onto the ground.

Renji's eyes swam in and out of focus at the force of being thrown so hard, Tatsuki stood directly over him and he caught a flash of white panties under a swaying skirt as she walked away.

Renji-0.5 Tatsuki-3

---

By Thursday Renji had given up on physical assaults and decided to give his revenge a new angle. He stood up and loudly made comments about Tatsuki's short spiky hair and unfeminine strength. Tatsuki looked up at him and he immediately regretted what he said, perhaps that was a bit too hurtful…

However Tatsuki simply smiled and made comments about Renji's funky eyebrows and sissy-boy strength. Renji was silenced at that and sat down, watching Tatsuki gaze look out the window. She blew a bubble out of her gum she was chewing, letting it splatter over her lips. Renji rested his head on his hand, thinking.

Arisawa really had to be strong to have taken all his blows and insults, without them hurting her. Or at least not showing they had hurt her.

Renji-1 Tatsuki-4

---

On Friday Tatsuki didn't come to school. Orihime had worriedly reported that Tatsuki had been crying when she had gone over to her house the previous evening, and just wanted some alone time. Renji was standing a little further away, had listened in.

He swept out of the classroom, ignoring the teacher who had just walked in telling him to come back inside.

He walked for a long time until he came across Karakura's main bridge.

Renji walked sullenly along the bridge.

He had just about had it with that school nonsense; he _had_ to get away from there…

More like, he needed to find Arisawa and apologize.

_Arisawa…when did I get on first name terms with her…? _

It had just occurred to Renji that he had officially gotten her back, but, strangely he didn't feel any better. Just guilty for making Tatsuki cry…

He suddenly stopped and looked over the bridge rail, at a green bank by the river flowing under the bridge. And squinting his eyes, he could make out a person with short, black hair sitting there.

---

"Yo!" he said, stepping up quietly behind her. "What!" she started, and looked behind her. "You scared me!" Tatsuki said, wiping her eye with the back of her thumb.

"Mind if I sit down?" Renji asked "No tricks" he added in, at her skeptical look.

She shook her head and moved over so he could sit down. He glanced at her; she was still in her school uniform, the breeze gently blowing her hair.

"Why are you here, Renji-kun?" she asked, quietly, hugging her knees.

"Er…well" Renji said awkwardly scratching his neck, not used to his first name being used "I…don't know, I guess I was sorta…worried when you didn't show up at school."

When she didn't answer he decided to ask her "So what's up? Why didn't you come to school?" he paused then rephrased his question "Did…did I hurt you?"

Tatsuki almost laughed at that. "Che, as _if_ **you** could hurt me Renji-kun!" she smiled at his annoyed fleeting scowl.

"Never mind, you wouldn't understand." She said, reverting to her faraway gaze.

Renji wasn't sure why it bothered him so, she had told him she wasn't sad from him, yet this human girl's unhappiness was…getting to him.

"Try me." He said, not thinking.

_Why did he want to know?_

Tatsuki paused, glancing at him curiously. "Well, er, I suppose I'm just kind of upset, over Ichigo."

Renji snorted at that. "_Kurosaki?_ Over that bastard!"

Tatsuki glared at him.

"Sorry."

"Ichigo and I have known each other since we were little kids; we used to do everything together. And, and after his mother died I would always find him here, and he would always be crying, then I'd…I'd do my best to comfort him." Tatsuki went a bit pink "I know it's kind of silly but…we've become so distant. He…he used to be everything to me, now we hardly even speak to each other."

Tatsuki bit her lip, obviously embarrassed "Stupid, right?" she asked, looking up.

Renji was astounded that she would say that. He shook his head. "I…I kinda know what you're going through Tatsuki-san." He said, rubbing his neck.

Growing up with Rukia, playing with Rukia, going to school with Rukia…watching Rukia growing closer and closer with Ichigo, forgetting all about him.

True he and Rukia were still both together in Soul Society but it was as though they were just acquaintances to each other now… long after everything they had been through…

And Renji had seen the looks Ichigo and Rukia shared quietly among each other, he knew it well…it was the look he gave to Rukia when at one point he felt in love with her.

He seemed to have this in common with Tatsuki.

"I've also lost a close friend, it really…really sucks." This of course was all the emotion Renji could put in his words, but it made Tatsuki laugh.

Renji relaxed a bit, resting his hand on the ground.

The next thing he knew Tatsuki had thrown her arms around him, pressing herself against him.

"Wha-wha..?" Renji spluttered, going pink.

"Thanks Renji-kun! You made me feel better!" Tatsuki said, resting her head in his chest.

"N-No problem." Renji said, awkwardly returning the hug.

Tatsuki sat up, biting her lip. "Renji, would you mind," she paused, wiping her eyes "not telling anyone that I…I cried?"

Renji grinned at that "I dunno, I guess I still haven't gotten you back for you hitting me on Monday!"

Tatsuki blushed slightly as she realized Renji was still holding her forearms.

"Well, then get me back!" she said simply.

She closed her eyes, getting ready for a punch, but instead she felt a pair of lips which pressed a definite kiss against hers.

She opened her eyes in surprise but it was already over. Renji stared back at her, blushing slightly to match with hers.

"Ah…ah…" Tatsuki mumbled but Renji pulled her face in gently for another kiss, which then she responded to, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Renji smiled into it… he couldn't wait for Monday morning.

Renji-3 Tatsuki-4

---

Owari

A/N: Aah, Renji and Tatsuki are so sweet together! I've read quite a few stories with them together; I'm not totally into the Arrancar Arc yet! Can anyone tell me if they do like each other in the anime? Anyways, Please review and tell me what you thought! Don't forget to request a pairing!


	3. Hands on kinda guy!

Crack Love: Installment 3

Pairing: Ichigo/Rukia

Warning: Slight suggestiveness and teenage themes.

Dedicted to: My special friend Future Past, to whom I have never written an Ichi/Ruki! I was also in the mood for some Ichi/Ruki goodness!

A/N: Well, sorry for the slow update, stupid writer's block and school work have plagued my life lately, I will try to update more quickly! Don't forget to review and request a pairing!

**Title: Hands-on kinda guy!**

Ichigo was getting more sure every day that having a girl (despite the fact that it was _Rukia_) living in his closet was starting to mess with his mind. Just a little.

Only the other night he had woken after an interesting dream, to find his sheets and other things a little wet and messy. Despite it being the first one in a long time, he had had these types of dreams before, already being forced to sit through 'the talk' with his father in whom he sang and rambled about how his son was "a healthy young man" and such.

Cursing quietly and pulling off his dirty sheets, he crept quietly outside to the hall to fetch another sheet from the cupboards. Thankfully Rukia stayed asleep throughout the whole episode, or at least she didn't yell at him to shut up.

His father however had automatically woken up at the sound of his son walking in the hall, ad seeing the folded up sheet with him, immediately began to dance around asking him "what pretty girl had he dreamt about."

He had punched his father all the way down the stairs. Like_ hell_ he was going to mention that to anyone.

Now he was really sure it was starting to get to him.

"Ichigo?" Rukia said, opening the closet of his cupboard. "What?" he called lazily from his comfy position on his bed, engrossed in the latest manga.

"Oi!" he heard the annoyance in her voice "Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Ichigo growled, flipping the page of his manga, pressing himself lower against his big comfy pillow.

"Oi!" he yelled, as the manga was suddenly pulled from his grip and out of his reach by a scowling Rukia, leaning over him.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" she insisted angrily, waving the manga around.

Ichigo sat up, waving his arms around trying to snatch the manga back from her, and not succeeding. Growling her name angrily, he managed to grab a hold of her wrist and pulled her forward towards him. Unfortunately he forgot sometimes that despite her spitfire personality she was very dainty and light, and he pulled her right onto him, sending them both toppling back onto the bed.

Ichigo lay sprawled upon the bed, with Rukia straddling him, a slight blush forming on his cheeks at their position. Rukia, it seemed, had not noticed, and took advantage of the situation. Grinning, she clasped her one hand to the neck of his grey school- shirt holding him there.

"Now you can't move anywhere" she said, challengingly "And I'll just keep this until you answer my question!" she held the manga with her other hand against her chest.

"R-Rukia!" Ichigo started, about to inform her but shrugged it off irritably.

Typical Rukia, switching off to everything else until she got an answer to her question.

"What!" he demanded, impatiently. Rukia smiled and started her question.

"What's a-"

"Ha**ha**!" Ichigo yelled triumphantly, shooting up his hands to grab back his manga with her unguarded.

Rukia, unfortunately, was one step ahead of him and moved her hand with the manga at the last minute.

Ichigo's hands molded onto two very soft mangas. Wait, Ichigo's eyes widened- _he wasn't holding his manga!_

His eyes fell to where his hands were, Rukia was above him with widened violet eyes.

His hands tightened over her breasts, squeezing them.

Rukia bit her lip, her hand dropping the manga to the bed. "More" she moaned, leaning into his touch "More…Ichigo…"

Ichigo complied immediately, squeezing again and again it felt so damn good! Rukia was moaning above him.

"Ichigo…"

"Ichigo…"

"ICHIGO!"

The said boy blinked and looked up from Rukia's school shirt at Rukia who was still leaning over him, looking over his manga. "Did you even hear what I said?" she demanded.

"Er."he said, blushing slightly. _What the hell had he let his imagination imagine?_

"I** said **yesterday I overheard two boys talking about Inoue-san's 'rack.' What is a rack?"

Ichigo's _slight_ blush drained from his face along with all other blood. Fate officially hated him.

"Nevermind." He mumbled, folding his arms, where they would _behave_.

"No, I want to know!" Rukia pressed, looking angry "If you're too chicken to tell me then _show_ me!"

Fate definitely had something against him.

Ichigo reached out a finger apprehensively and pointed in the right direction, looking downwards.

"Eh? My uniform?" Rukia asked. Ichigo cursed loud enough for her to hear, he was getting frustrated.

"No! Your……girl's…"

"What?" Rukia demanded.

Ichigo slapped a hand to his head "Are you **that** dense?" he ground out and on impulse his hand quickly gripped her left breast and let go.

Ichigo looked downwards, rubbing a hand to his temple, waiting for Rukia to slap him senseless. "Oh, I **_see _**Ichigo!"

He looked up at her, open-mouthed. She smiled cheekily back at him and spoke in a tone that suggested she had known it all along.

"…You bitch!" he yelled at her, pissed off at her antics.

"Well, now that I know what a rack is, Ichigo" Rukia continued slyly "How about you _explain_ to me what 'making out' is?"

Ichigo's surprise quickly turned to garbled desire as he gazed at the smiling black-haired girl. Two could play that game.

---

**Fin**

A/N: Sorry that Ichigo and Rukia are OC in this story, but this was just a fun little thing I wanted to write! Don't forget to review and please don't kill me with flames!


	4. Gigais

Crack Love: Installment 4

Pairing: Urahara/Rukia

Dedicated to: Agent Mofo

A/N: Well, installment 4 is here! Wow, 18 reviews so far and only 3 chapters! Wow, I feel so loved! Thanks guys, you all rock!

**Title: Gigais**

"_Kuchikiiii-sannn_! Welcome! How may I be of service? Please don't hesitate to call on **meeee!** After all, I **am** the owner, Urahara Kisuke, So-"

Urahara Kisuke's enthusiastic greetings were greeted back by a bonk on the head with a small hard fist by Rukia.

"Urahara! This is how you greet your customers? Scratch that, your _only_ customer?"

Rukia said with a growl. Urahara sat back up, rubbing his forehead.

"Woo, Kuchiki-san sure hits hard!" he commented in a pained voice, but quickly whipped open his fan, his knowing grin hidden behind it.

"What can I do for you today, Kuchiki-san?" he asked, eyeing the black-haired girl "You seem to be coming over almost every day now!"

Rukia strained at that. "You think it's my fault!" she shouted, like usual, at him "I would turn your lazy behind in to Soul Society for all the cheaply-made products you've sold me, if you weren't so _pathetic_!"

"You are kind to not do that…" Urahara said, lowering his head solemnly "…BUT WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE SOME NEWLY-SHIPPED SOUL RODS THEY'RE-"

Rukia rolled her eyes and shook her head and Urahara quickly dropped it.

There was a few minutes silence, as Rukia stared over her shoulder, at the clear blue sky.

Urahara stared at her, slightly surprised; it wasn't like her to zone out like that.

"Kuchiki…-san?" he questioned curiously, raising his hat slightly.

Rukia immediately snapped back to reality.

"Urahara" she began, fixing him with her hard stare, she raised a delicate finger "This gigai…"

Urahara's eyes widened…she had found out?

But Rukia's stare wasn't hard or angry, it was…questioning.

"Where are Tessai and the others?" Rukia suddenly asked, looking around, wondering why the shop was so quiet.

"I gave them a day off; I wasn't expecting any customers today, but what about the gigai?" Urahara pressed.

Rukia took a seat next to him on the floor. "I think this gigai is malfunctioning, it seems to be running extra features." She said, looking at him.

"Extra features?" Urahara repeated "Could you name one?"

Rukia thought for a minute, before frowning and crossing her legs. "It seems to attract a lot of attention from my male classmates, I look up and at least two of them are usually staring at me!"

Urahara's smile widened at that.

"The other day this consistent fool called Keigo told me I was 'sexy' and he wanted to go 'first base' with me!" Rukia raised an eyebrow at Kisuke who was now sniggering.

"Mind telling me what is so funny, **_Urahara_**?" she asked threateningly.

Urahara stopped his sniggering, but held up his fan and suppressed a twitching grin.

"Aah, forgive me Kuchiki-san…" He said hollowly, he eyed Rukia, sitting there in her high school uniform her long legs crossed, her arms folded, her short black hair resting on her shoulders. "…allow me to explain…"

---

"WHAT!" Rukia shrieked, a blush forming "HOW **DARE** YOU SUGGEST…"

"Yes, so you see, it's not actually a fault of the gigai" Urahara said, a hand resting on his neck awkwardly as he elaborated "it's just that the boys at your school find _you_ attractive.-"

Urahara received his second bonk for the day. Rukia, sporting a bright tinge on her cheeks, folded her arm over her chest in defense as though Urahara was looking there.

"Hehe, if you think that's bad Kuchiki-san, you probably don't **_want_** to know what that Keigo meant when he said first base!" Urahara laughed awkwardly as he looked back at Rukia.

"I-I…" she broke off, quietly.

Urahara couldn't deny the he had _always_ found the girl attractive, but he was easily older than her by about one-hundred and fifty years…besides…why would she like him…she had…

"Kuchiki-san let me show you something." Urahara said, holding out a hand to Rukia, which she took. He helped her up and led her down a long passage hall and into a spare room with a mirror in it.

"There" he said, placing her in front of it. "Look its_ youuuuuu_!" he said reverting to his usual playful self. Rukia rolled her eyes at him and looked back at the mirror.

"See Kuchiki-san? It's no wonder all the boys like you." Urahara said over Rukia's shoulder, looking passed her confused gaze. "My, my what a pretty girl you are!"

Rukia blushed again, cutely, at that. "Don't say random things like that, fool!" she hissed.

"I'm not on Earth to give off looks; I'm here to fight hollows!"

Rukia wheeled around, centimeters away from him, and poked him on the chest.

"Now tell me exactly what that fool meant! 'first base?' Are they planning to take me to their base or something?"

Urahara stared down at her confident look for a moment.

He couldn't help the fact that he had always been more of a 'hands-on demonstrator' than an explainer. He knew an opportunity when he saw one.

"Allow me to demonstrate"

Placing his hands on Rukia's shoulders, he gently pulled the wide-eyed girl towards him, firmly placing his lips on hers. Rukia stiffened against him and he placed a hand on her waist. He felt her response, her stiffen, and almost hastily slid his tongue between her lips, making her gasp involuntarily into his lips.

It almost felt like she was enjoying it, placing her hands on his, which were currently on her hips.

"_Urahara-_" she moaned as he lifted his lips quickly to catch a breath before crashing down again.

Until Rukia's fist came crashing down on _him_.

"OWEEEEEEE!" The blonde haired man yelled, rubbing a hand against his throbbing forehead. "Kuchiki-san sure **_does_** pack a punch!" he commented lightly, rubbing his 3rd hit for the day, and looking up at her.

Rukia, panting, held up a tight fist.

"H-how dare you just…_attack_ me like that, Urahara!" Rukia said exasperatedly, blushing furiously.

"Ahhhh, Kuchiki-san was supposed to enjoy it…" Urahara remarked quietly, more to himself.

"I mean-I **mean**" he quickly added when she raised her fist again "I couldn't have shown you any other way!"

He relaxed as she brought down her fist slowly. "You could have just told me…you lecherous pervert!" she muttered.

"Etto!" Urahara said to that "That's mean! I'm no pervert!"

Rukia raised an eyebrow at that. "Then how exactly did you know the real meaning of the human expression 'first base'?"

Urahara became shifty-eyed. "…Lucky guess?" he said after a long pause.

(Truthfully, in the dead of night, Urahara practiced kissing on his pillow…)

Rukia looked down, avoiding catching her reflection in the mirror.

"Ne…Urahara…" she started quietly.

The shady blonde-haired shop owner raised an eyebrow in confusion at her change in attitude.

"If…If some of the boys like me, then-then why is it Ichigo doesn't seem to react the same way?"

Urahara opened his mouth slightly, lost for words. She looked so uncomfortable.

"You're a pretty girl Kuchiki-san" he found himself, saying, serious "It's no wonder all those human boys like you, but… if Kurosaki-san doesn't see what they do then…"

He pulled down his hat "…IT'S SAFE TO ASSUME THAT HE'S HOMOSEXUAL!" he finished off, pulling a 'peace' sign.

Rukia's eyebrows furrowed at the unnecessary humour.

"Summimasen." Urahara said, bowing slightly

"If Kurosaki-san can't see that_-If he can't see what I see…- _then he is blind."

"Eh? What's this about me being blind?"

Rukia whipped around. Ichigo leaned lazily and obliviously against the door frame.

"ICHIGO!" Rukia yelled instinctively, before relaxing as usual "Baka, what are you doing here?"

Ichigo shrugged gruffly, sticking a pinky lightly into his ear and rotating it. "You were takin so damn long here…I came to check on ya."

"Anyways," he continued "What was all this eh? I only caught the me- being-blind part."

He glanced at Urahara. "Eh, Sandal-Hat?"

"Greetings Kurosaki-san!" Urahara said, waving cheerfully, but he was cut off after that.

"Never mind that, come we're going!" Rukia ordered, tugging at his shirt to signal they were leaving. "Oi!" Ichigo yelled after her, coupled with a "Ah, I'll see you out!" from Urahara.

The three strode to the main entrance.

"Ichigo wait outside." Rukia said, shoving him to the door. Rejected and pissed off, he slammed it on his way out with a growl. She turned to face Kisuke.

"Well, thank you for your services Urahara" she said strongly, determinedly not showing any recognition of what they had just shared.

Urahara smiled, easily, back at her. He shrugged lightly. "Come again, Kuchiki-san."

Rukia's eyes widened slightly at that, a little blush forming.

"Ah...uh, yes, I will." She said. Urahara smiled shadily. "BECAUSE NEXT WEEK I'M GETTING A STOCK OF NEW PRODUCTS-**SPECIAL** DISCOUNTS!" he boomed happily, totally spoiling the moment.

"**_Ja_**, Urahara." Rukia said, holding up a back hand and sliding the door closed.

Urahara stared at the closed door for some time after that.

_Until next time…Rukia…_

--

One week later Urahara Kisuke was fiercely training an ex-shinigami Kurosaki Ichigo, so that he could save a death-bedded Kuchiki Rukia.

**Fin**

A/N: A bit of a sad ending. Ah well, please review and tell me your thoughts on it! Don't forget-REQUESTS, REQUESTS REQUESTS!


	5. Sweetness in the after taste

Crack Love: Installment 5

Pairing: Rangiku/Nanao

Dedicated to: Unborn Lord Xion

A/N: Ooh, this was a pairing that struck me as extra interesting! I had fun writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it!

**Sweetness in the aftertaste**

The first time Ise Nanao had laid eyes on Matsumoto Rangiku she had disliked her.

Wielding a sake bottle in one hand, she strongly oozed an aura compatible to Shunsui, with strawberry blonde hair that flowed down her shoulders and gigantic breasts barely covered by her flimsy robes that weren't folded properly, complaining to anyone who would listen about her new "pip-squeak" of a captain.

She had been on her way back from delivering important paperwork that her _dear_ taichou had slurringly instructed with a lop-sided smile, and had heard a loud, strong yet feminine voice booming down the hall. Having to pass by it she had caught a full view of the owner of the voice.

And a full view of the owner.

Brainless bimbo, who had probably gotten accepted as a vice-captain by recommendation of the pathetic little panting male teachers at the Shinigami academy.

Perhaps that was a bit of a jumped conclusion. Nanao disliked her, but knew first impressions could be deceiving.

---

What with all the shouting and clinking around, it seemed like there was a party going on.

But it was hard to believe there were only three people in the room, one of them whom weren't contributing to the noise.

To Nanao's distaste Shunsui had cordially invited Matsumoto to a sake evening.

Bottles lay strewn everywhere and her taichou and the blonde had looped their arms over each other's shoulders singing and swaying.

"_She'll_ _be coming round the mountain-she'll be coming round the mountain-she'll be coming round the mountain when she commmmmmmmmmes!_" they

sang heartily waving their hands.

Nanao continued to hunch over her work.

"_She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes_!"

Nanao's gripped her pen tightly in her fist.

"_She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes_!"

Nanao's pen poked a hole in her paper.

"_She'll be coming round the mountain_-"

Nanao crumpled up the paper and reached for another.

"_She'll be coming round the mountain_-"

"SHUT UP!" she found herself yelling exasperatedly.

"Oiiii! Nanao-chan!" Shunsui warbled drunkenly "you'll ruin your voice like that!"

"You should be one to talk!" she growled back at him.

"Nanao-san" Rangiku mumbled "Why don't you come over and join us? Relax a bit!"

Nanao chose to ignore that.

When she looked up again both her captain and Rangiku had slumped against the wall, asleep.

Sighing she got up to inspect the mess. This was going to be the start of a beautiful friendship…

---

Not long after that Shunsui had convinced Nanao to join up at the female Shinigami academy (with plenty of "You could do with some loosening up"s and "Nanaooooo-chaaan!")

The instant she walked in she caught sight of Matsumoto passing around tea with a gentle smile on her face. She was about to turn on her heels and wheel out of there, but she was caught red-handed.

"Aah, Nanao-san!" Rangiku had called over Nanao's shoulder "Where do you think you're going? We're just starting! We're going to have fun!"

Spinning around with a stern look on her face she greeted the sake-laden blonde "Matsumoto." She said, nodding.

She glanced around at the other 'members' of the 'club.'

Yachiru, bouncing up and down; Isane; a timid looking Kuchiki Rukia; Soi Fong and in the middle of them all sat Matsumoto smiling up at her.

Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad.

"And come on; don't be so formal, you can call me Rangiku-san!" Matsumoto said, waving her hand carelessly.

Sitting down awkwardly, Nanao watched Rang…Matsumoto hand out tea to everyone.

_What an act_…Nanao thought…_if only they could see her at night_…

"Right well, starting off" Matsumoto said, sitting back in her seat "Let's start the meeting, I actually have a personal complaint about our Gingkongan, I feel it's not cute enough!"

Nanao nearly fell out of her seat at that; **_this_** was what they talked about?

More than seven Irish coffees later, she was more than happy to laden her complaints.

"Yea, and just why is it that men never understand the meaning of 'no!' it's just 'Nanao-chan', 'Nanao-chan', 'Nanaooo-chaaan!' all the time" she slurred on, taking a long, draining sip of her whisky-brewed coffee.

"Er, I wonder if she knows it has alcohol?" Isane murmured quietly to Rangiku, who was watching her with a slightly worried look on her face.

Nanao finished draining her cup and slammed it down on the table. Yachiru had fallen asleep on the sofa; Soi Fong sat eyeing them beadily, taking a sip of her coffee while Rukia sat quietly looking as though she didn't want to be a bother to anyone, so it was best she didn't talk.

"'s coffee's 's good…" she murmured, her vision starting to cloud behind her glasses.

"R'ngiku-san" she murmured, flopping up her hand gesuringnly "Get us another one, will ya?" and with that she closed her blue eyes and let her head conk neatly onto the wooden table.

"Oh dear…" Rangiku said, not smiling.

"I'm definitely not carrying her back…" Soi Fong said, smirking.

---

_Dearest Nanao-san_

_You passed out at our meeting after having nine whisky coffees, and I brought you back here to your division's couch, as I was worried I might have woken your captain if I went thumping through rooms to find yours. It seems you indulged a little too much in our whisky coffees, though I'll admit it was rather fun seeing you so loosened up!_

_Thank you very much for attending our meeting, I do hope you'll come again, we'll just have to watch you more this time!_

_Nanao-san, thank you very much for being such a good friend to me, I am sure I will see you tomorrow unless of course, you fall victim to hangover…ouch! Not nice!_

_Best regards_

_Matsumoto Rangiku_

The next day Nanao stayed in bed with a hangover.

---

It wasn't but a day after Aizen's plight that Matsumoto began to have a faraway gaze in her eyes. Sitting with a quietly sipping his sake Shunsui, she would stare out the window, her full lips in a wistful pout, her blue eyes almost dulled by the light. Her sake lay untouched. Watching them out of the corner of her eye, Nanao got little to none paperwork done and a sucked pen.

Not long after that she stopped drinking with Shunsui altogether.

Her captain looked strangely incomplete sitting all alone with his eyes closed, and their office looked empty and forlorn. And all the raging emotions and feelings of all the changes lately came pouring out of her slowly.

She stumbled over to her captain and gripped the front of his robes and he held her close comfortingly. Trembling quietly, fittingly in their quiet room, she decided to take a risk and whisper of her repressed feelings.

Shunsui looked back at her, his warm brown eyes diluting. The air became even thicker than before.

"I'm…I'm sorry Nanao-chan, I just don't feel the same way…"

She retreated respectfully from the room.

Only when she was outside did she given in to the tears.

---

Seeing Matsumoto Rangiku sitting out on the stretching green field gave a…breath of life to Nanao?

After not sensing her presence, not hearing her laugh heartily, smile cheerfully, run her hand through her thick blonde hair relaxingly.

Wiping her eyes, Nanao slowly; ashamedly began to walk over to her. She had few friends never finding time to be with them, and she had just been rejected by her captain. _Matsumoto was her only friend…Matsumoto had always been there…_

Smiling at her with that unforgettable smile…

Nanao continued to walk over to her, the tears streaming again. She hoped Matsumoto would smile just one more time for her…she hoped she had not given up her yet…

Her shadow fell upon the curvier woman, who hunched forward, gazing faraway.

Nanao watched her eyes blink in surprise at the dark fallen over her and reverted over to her, watching her blue eyes widening.

"N-Nanao-san?" her mouth formed. Watching Matsumoto's expression turn to one of pity, Ise felt ashamed at her state, and felt the need to turn away. But perhaps that was her problem from the very beginning, she realized bitterly, she had always been so closed off, so self-conscious…

Perhaps her useless sap of a captain had a reason for not loving her back…

She had forgiven him already.

"He doesn't love me." She whispered, no longer caring how pathetic she looked, for she was the only one who judged herself so harshly.

And that was all it took.

Rangiku's blue eyes began to shimmer with emotion.

She held out her hands, and gently clasped Nanao's.

Falling gently to her knees, Matsumoto guided her into her arms and the smaller woman rested against her. People weren't as cruel and calculating as she thought.

And they sat together in each other's arms, mourning for the ones who didn't love them back.

The rain clouds had come out and the first drop pattered when Nanao slowly lifted her head and captured Matsumoto's lips.

---

The first time Ise Nanao had laid eyes on Matsumoto Rangiku she had disliked her. She disliked most people, because it was as though they were judging others all the time.

But the first time she had laid eyes on her she had looked but not seen, she had only seen what she wanted to assume, and not given herself a chance to see, in the hopes that she could feel better about herself.

Matsumoto had taught her to love herself and she no longer secretly all along envied the blonde and friendly Shinigami. They balanced each other, and carried each other's insecurities. Every time she was with Rangiku she felt like laughing, something she never used to do. And every time Rangiku would smile broadly at that. And try again tempting her with sake.

It felt like they were finally starting to live…or at least carry out something that mirrored it…

The first time Nanao truly laid eyes on her she had loved her. A love that was reminded to her everyday in a sweet kiss with sweetness in the aftertaste.

---

**Owari**

A/N: Keep those requests coming through! Don't worry I am working on every reviewer's request! Till next time!


	6. Rumors

Crack Love: Installment 6

Pairing: Unohana/Zaraki

Dedicated to: Megu-chan!

A/N: Hey everyone, here's Installment 6. I know many people are waiting too see their pairings! Please do be patient, though, I'll do them as fast as I can whenever I have free time, and finally I have a good muse for the long-awaited Ichigo/Yoruichi- so that should be soon! Yay!

Don't forget to review and request a pairing you want me to dedicate to you!

**Title: Rumors**

It was another beautiful morning in the court of Pure souls. Streams of sunlight peeked through windows and door cracks, birds chirped all around and Shinigami all around chippered, hurrying to do their duties, smiling, Yamamoto was about to declare the whole day a holiday-

Wait, backtrack a bit.

- It was a weird morning in the Court of Pure Souls. Streams of sunlight peeked through windows and door cracks, birds chirped all around and Shinigami all around whispered, stopping to hear the far away cries in the distance and injured Shinigami walking past.

Lately it wasn't becoming uncommon to see many 11th division members limping; crawling or sulking around the Seiretei. Even Yumichika walked with a slightly dragged leg.

(and although his _whole_ leg was broken, he decided it wouldn't be beautiful to walk around in crutches.)

When the unfortunate members of division 11 were asked why so many more of theirs were injured than usual, they told what had become a rumour spreading fast and wide throughout the Seiretei.

Apparently, their captain, Zaraki Kenpachi had just recently found out what everyone said about him behind his back.

"_CRAZY?" he had yelled at them, dicing through the 11th division furniture in a rage with his sword "WHY -THE FUCK- WOULD I BE **CRAZY**?"_

And he was hurt.

And now he was taking it all out on his division.

This had come as a surprise and slight shock to many, after genuinely believing that the spiky-haired 11th division captain knew everything that was said about him and either reveled in it or didn't care. Hence the flying rumors and whispers.

But judging by the rants or injuries of the 11th division members, he _did_ care and he was _pissed off_.

---

Naturally, when this news hit Unohana Retsu, this was the logical explanation for all the 11th division patients that had been_ streaming_ in since the previous day.

"Is that true, Isane?" she asked, gently looking over at her vice-captain.

"Er, I'm not sure taichou; I-it's just a rumour going around!" Isane said, holding up her hands defensively.

Unohana smiled, almost cryptically at that "Why, Isane. I didn't know you had an ear for gossip and rumors!" she said, smiling.

Isane blushed at that. "No! No! I don't usually listen to silly gossip! It's-just that I heard it!" she said, babbling and scratching her ear.

Unohana looked over at the over packed ward of loud, obnoxious 11th division members and counting.

"Well, something has to be done about it." She said calmly, standing next to her vice-captain. Isane looked questioningly at her captain.

"Isane, why don't you go and talk to Zaraki-taichou?"

Isane visibly paled. "ME?" she boomed impulsively "er, ah, I mean taichou why should we bother Z-Zaraki now, while he is obviously in such a volatile mood? We'll get nothing out of him!"

"Unohana taichou!" a fourth division member ran up to her. "Yes?" she replied, looking around. "Several more 11th division members have arrived for treatment." He said, bowing low.

Seven or eight 11th division members stood at the entrance, bleeding or drooling all over the place. Unohana looked back at Isane, who shrugged.

"Very well" she said to the kneeling member "have them bedded and treated."

She began to head for the doorway. "Taichou? Where are you going?" Isane called after her.

She stopped mid-way. "I am going to go have a talk with Zaraki-taichou." She said simply, walking out.

A Shinigami who was slowing medicine choked on it and it came pouring out his nose.

The whole ward went quiet.

Even the loud patients who were head locking Hanatarou piped down.

"I put in 50…" one murmured after a while.

---

Walking quietly down towards the path towards the 11th division gates, Unohana quietly marveled at how much mess just one man could make.

The gates lay in a clatter on the ground, chips of wood lying everywhere, the path ahead was littered in branches and leaves. As she reached the main building, she saw half of the roof was had been blasted off and was still smoking.

Shaking her head patiently, she knocked on the door, which was still in perfect condition.

After a few moments, the sound of it silently being unlocked from the inside could be heard.

"Good aft-" she began politely, but noticed there was no one in sight.

"Doctor-lady!" a squeaky voice yelled up at her. Unohana gave a slight start and looked down.

"Yachiru-san!" she said smiling "Is Za-"

"Doctor-lady came _just_ in time-" the pink haired girl interrupted her, pulling her along "Ken-chan's _vewwwy_ sick!"

Unohana stopped slightly "Zaraki-san is sick?" she asked.

Yachiru stopped, and slowly turned around fixing her with a rather watery-eyed stare.

"Mm. H-He told me to go outside and play and leave him the hell alone!" she said in a breaking voice.

Looking around, Unohana saw no other division members within the quarters. Now slightly worried, she hurried along with Yachiru up to Zaraki's office door, which sported a label saying "Stay the hell out if you know what's good for ya."

"Please Doctor-lady" Yachiru pleaded, pointing to the door "Make Ken-chan feel better!"

Unohana smiled down at the doe brown eyes that sparkled before her "I'll try Yachiru-san."

---

Clearing her throat and focusing on the task at hand, Unohana pressed a delicate hand to the door and quietly pushed it open. Resting her hand on the door she peered around

"Zar-"

a sword was thrown and stabbed the front of the door, pinning her sleeve there and barely missing her hand.

"Didn't ya read the notice?"

heart beating, she looked up. Zaraki sat in his swivel chair, his back facing her. Forcing her anger down, she swallowed and pulled the sword out of the door. "Actually I did, Zaraki-taichou." She said calmly, holding up his sword.

He swiveled around at the sound of her voice. "You!" he said, surprised "What are _you_ doing here?"

Glancing around at his totally trashed office, save for his swivel chair, which he was sitting in Unohana shook her head. "Zaraki-taichou" she began "It seems you have a problem…"

Zaraki looked up at her from his folded hands on his split –in- half desk. "Problem? Why would there be a _problem_?" he said quietly, dangerously.

At that Unohana smiled quietly, dangerously.

"It seems you do not know, Zaraki-san, my fourth squad is overflowing with injured members of _your_ 11th squad" she continued, oblivious to the look of horror on Zaraki's face "And it seems they are being sent there, troubling _my_ squad, because of _you_."

Her smile sparkled. "May we discuss this?"

Zaraki's face had gone the colour of parchment, he nodded jerkily. "H-Have a seat." He mumbled, gesturing to a broken chair.

"Thank you." Unohana opened her eyes and chose to kneel on the floor in front of his desk. Zaraki joined her on the floor, kicking the split table to the side, he folded his arms grumpily.

"Now" Unohana said simply "What's wrong?" Zaraki was surprised at the simplicity of the great healer's words; even more surprised that he knew the word simplicity.

Zaraki ran a hand through his spiked, black hair.

And knowing he couldn't escape this woman, he began to tell his long sob-story.

---

"Yea, damn bastards after _everything_ I've done for them!"

"So…you're saying that you don't like it when other people call you crazy…"

"HELL NO! It's only ok when _I_ do it!"

Unohana didn't even bother feigning indifference at this stunning conclusion.

Zaraki Kenpachi, it seemed, had a sensitive spot which happened to be pierced easily by the blade of gossip.

"So…you're saying you get hurt?"

Zaraki blanched, as though coughing, and growled. "No! Why the hell would I _get hurt_?"

Unohana blinked, he didn't get hurt but he didn't like being called crazy? She knew this tactic.

"It's alright, you know Zaraki, you can admit it, and I won't tell anyone!"

Zaraki scratched the side of his head. "…Fine. It hurts a little bit. I'm a man so I can admit it!"

Unohana smiled warmly at that. Looking at the roughened 11th division captain before on the outside could truly be misleading, looking at him now with his cheek rested on one hand grumpily; it just looked like he needed…

"How about a hug, Zaraki-san?" Unohana offered, totally forgetting about appearances and being in-character.

"… A WHAT?" Zaraki yelled at her, jumping up. One eye twitching, he stared flabbergasted upon the smiling woman. "Jesus, what do you think I am, woman? A fluffy teddy bear?"

"Now, Zaraki-san, a hug can be very helping to a person" Unohana said, mock scolding.

Zaraki was confused in the sudden changes of her behavior.

_And people say I'm crazy…_

"Fine. But make it quick."

Unohana looked up, slightly surprised. Zaraki stood before her, his arms at his sides.

Smiling and getting up, Unohana took a step over to him, Zaraki didn't move unsure of what to do next.

Blinking, Zaraki felt a slight pressure against his lower chest and two arms halfway around him. He looked down and saw a head of soft, deep brown hair and a braid resting against his chest.

"Relax, Zaraki-san" Unohana said quietly "this is a hug, you don't have to be all stiff, and you can return it too!"

Complying, Zaraki slowly lifted his hands and placed them awkwardly on her back.

A few minutes passed, and he admitted to himself it was quite nice.

_Nice…wait a minute…nothing is NICE!_

Unohana was very warm against him.

_Ok, so what if she's warm, I am ZARAKI KENPACHI, Nothing is nice to me!_

Unohana was nice to him.

_OK FINE, JUST SHUT UP ALREADY! _

"Zaraki-taichou?" he looked down, Unohana looking up. "What…er Unohana? And could you let go of me now?"

Unohana smiled. "Actually Zaraki-taichou I was going to ask _you_ that, since it is _you_ who is still holding on to _me_."

Zaraki looked down, she was right. He let go. "Oh sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about" Unohana said "Well, I should be heading back to my division. And no more 11th division patients?"

Scratching his head, he felt himself nod. A warm feeling came to his stomach when he saw her smile again.

"I am glad we got to talk about this Zaraki-san, and don't forget to just ignore what others say, because you know you're not crazy…"

Zaraki nodded again, swallowing, why hadn't he just done that in the first place?

"I…'m glad as well" he mumbled "I'll do that."

Unohana had pulled the door open and was heading out when he heard a gruff "…Er Unohana…"

"Yes?" she said, looking back. Zaraki's dark black eyes bore into her deep blue ones.

"You…don't think I'm crazy do you?" he asked quietly, sitting squarely in his trashed little office. Unohana shook her head.

"Of course not."

"Ah, good, I suppose."

"Don't forget Zaraki, if ever you have a problem you want to discuss, just call me!"

"…Right."

"Not crazy at all" Unohana murmured to herself, closing the door.

"Maybe a little unwell." She added in, smiling and walking back to the fourth division.

---

One day later: 

"_UNWELL?" he had yelled, dicing through newly repaired furniture in a rage with his sword "WHY -THE FUCK- WOULD I BE UNWELL?"_

---

"_Hello again Zaraki-san…"_

---

**FIN**

A/N: Well, there is my new update-FINALLY! I will let everyone know that I should be updating a lot quicker since it's nearly **holidays**!

Can I get a "WHOOP WHOOP?" No…? Well, ok, till the next chapter…


	7. Confess

Crack Love: Installment 7

Pairing: Hitsugaya/Hinamori

Dedicated to: Yaoi Hata

A/N: This was originally a little piece I wrote eons ago, ok not that long ago, but I thought I'd post it up to see what people thought of it, but since I wrote a while ago some characters may be a bit OOC, so I apologize for that, just think of how the characters would react in a situation like that! Doomo!

**Title: Confess**

A chilly gust of wind blew across Hitsugaya's young features as he walked across the Seritei quad to the 10th division of the Shinigamis's gotei-13. He shivered and scowled, suddenly looking far older and forlorn, rubbing his forearms and quickening his pace.

"Hitsugaya-taichou" he stopped and turned around. A nameless shinigami bowed respectfully before handing him a notice clipboard.

"Thanks" Hitsugaya grunted, scanning the paper, which was addressed to him from the 1st division captain calling forward a shinigami taichou meeting to be held on the morning 2 days from now. He handed back the board to the shinigami who bowed, and looked as though he wanted nothing more than to get himself respectively far away from him, and walked away.

"Damn meetings" thought Hitsugaya, his expression chilling if possibly even more "Can't stand them, they're just gatherings for old morons to bicker and cough about things."

---

"Matsumoto, oi Matsumoto" Hitsugaya grumbled, giving his vice-captain a slight shake on the shoulders.

"Huh?" the long-haired strawberry blonde snorted and sat up from the 10th division couch.

"Oh" her sleepy-expression faltered and she wore an apologetic look "Sorry taichou, I didn't mean to fall asleep again-"

"It's alright" Hitsugaya dismissed it with a wave of his hand, kneeling back up "I just wanted to tell you I'm off to lunch, you want me to bring something back?"

She shook her head "No thanks, I'd better go get on with my work."

Hitsugaya nodded, heading out "See you later."

Matsumoto nodded and the instant he was out of earshot her head thumped back on the pillows, asleep again.

Hitsugaya stretched, walking along to the dining hall, his back muscles were killing him.

As he walked along, he caught sight of a lone figure, hunched, resting against a tree next to the trickling stream.

He recognized the green ribbon instantly "Hinamori!" he cried, hurrying over the stretch of lawn to her. "Hinamori!" he said again, concern laced in his voice.

The small girl looked up at him, her large brown eyes shimmering "Shirou-chan!"

Two small tears trickled out of the corners of her eyes.

"Why are you crying" the silver-haired boy genius kneeled down, his protective instinct surfacing.

"Did someone hurt you?"

Hinamori shook her head, wiping her eyes "It's, it's nothing, Shirou-chan."

Hitsugaya ignored the forsaken nickname "Momo, if someone made you cry just tell me." He said, quietly gripping the edge of his zanpaktou.

"It's nothing like that Shirou-chan." She shook her head, smiling somewhat wistfully. Hitsugaya felt himself blush as she stared at him with her deep chocolate eyes, smiling.

"Well, if there's anything…" he trailed off, scratching the back of his head, standing up. "Good day to you Hinamori." He finally said, before turning around and walking away, his heart pulsing powerfully in his chest.

It was there that he realized that perhaps the pain in his chest was maybe…because he was in love with her, though something told him he'd known it all along.

He refused to acknowledge the rise in the day's temperature.

---

Toushirou stared up at the ceiling, his head resting on his crossed arms. The moon light flowed in, lighting his sliver hair to a pure blue white.

But it wasn't the bright white moon or the equally bright starry sky that kept him up.

He had already made himself accept his feelings towards a certain 5th division fuku-taichou. "But…should I tell her?" he asked himself in quiet, turning onto his side.

"Of course! Suffocating myself is just plain wrong!"

Somehow that sounded really cheesy.

"Look" Hitsugaya punched his pillow before settling back down "Hiding your feelings is the cowards option; just tell her in a hurry first thing in the morning!"

He nodded, confident with his decision, and finally closed his eyes to settle for some well-deserved rest.

---

Hitsugaya strode hurriedly along the hallway, running a hand through his silver locks, feeling especially self-conscious. "She's probably having breakfast." He thought walking along, the uneasy feeling rising to his throat and making him feel queasy.

"Just ask her to meet you somewhere later today…"

"Ohayou gozaimasu Hitsugaya-taichou" a familiar faceless shinigami called to him as he passed by with the crowd "The 1st division captain asked me to remind you of the meeting tomorrow!"

"Yeah." Hitsugaya called to him.

_Great…this day is gonna be just great, keep telling yourself that… _

"Hinam-" his voice queased and broke as he caught sight of her, talking with Kurosaki-taichou and Abara fuku-taichou.

He looked around; her expression changed at the sight of him "Oh, Shirou…-Hitsugaya-kun…"

"I-I need to talk to you about…stuff" he fiddled nervously, glancing to the side "Do you think you could, maybe-"

"Oi! I'm busy talking to my vice-captain here, Hitsugaya!" Ichigo interrupted "Don't interrupt me!"

"I'll interrupt you any day, anytime" Hitsugaya raised his fist, scowling.

"Ah, er what were you saying, taichou?" Hinamori said smiling, awkwardly, stepping between them.

"Oh yeah, I'm supposed to bring something to serve as as snacks after the meeting tomorrow, but I can't cook anything and" Ichigo glanced around before continuing "and… well, Rukia's cooking isn't _exactly_ first-class, so do you think you make something for me?"

Hinamori's expression lightened

"Sure. I could do apple-bake; Shirou-chan _just loves_ my apple-bake!"

She obviously didn't realize the effect caused by this sentence.

Hitsugaya turned a light pink shade. "S-sure. Thanks Hinamori-san" Ichigo said, keeping a straight face for Hinamori, while Renji coughed loudly next to him.

They both glanced at him with gleaming eyes.

There was absolutely no way he could tell her now.

"Ah, er never mind, Hinamori!" he quickly said, before spinning on his heels and walking off before she could say anything.

_That's half my pride gone…_

---

Everyone knew by that afternoon to steer clear of 10th division captain, Hitsugaya Toushirou, child genius, unless they wished an eventful trip to the fourth division healers.

As if the awkward goodbye to Hinamori this morning wasn't enough, bloody rumors spread like lightening through the gotei-13.

The whole afternoon Kurosaki and Renji had been taunting him, calling him Hitsugaya Apple-bake.

"Damn them… damn them!" Hitsugaya thought darkly, cutting a wide path through some demon magic school students.

"Hey Hitsugaya-taichou! Is it true that you always keep a stash of apple-bake under your bed?"

There was only so much a boy genius could take.

Toushirou whipped around, ready to draw his zanpaktou. Instead he collided head-first with something extremely soft.

He shook his head and opened his eyes.

"Shirou-chan!" Hinamori stared up at him, smiling slightly.

"H-Hina...Momo" Hitsugaya blushed, realizing that he was lying on top of her "I-I I'm sorry…" he helped her up.

"I was looking for you all day, what did you want to tell me this morning?"

Hitsugaya's mind went into overdrive, spluttering orders randomly.

"I-I well I actually wanted to Momo I…l-lo…nothing." Hitsugaya, disappointed in himself, looked down.

_What if she rejects me?_

"Oh." Momo said quietly, smile dropping "Well…if it's nothing."

"Wait!" Hitsugaya grabbed her hands in his, green eyes burning "Momo I lo-"

"Well, if it isn't our favourite Hitsugaya Taichou!" Madarame Ikkaku came walking by.

"Shouldn't you be skipping back to the 11th division Ikkaku?" Hitsugaya hissed coolly, letting go of Hinamori's hands immediately.

"Whatever you say…captain Apple-bake…"

Hinamori was left to watch her silver-haired; rather short friend chase after Ikkaku, now sincerely pissed. 

But it wasn't that which was concerning her. She raised her hands, still warm-feeling from his.

"Was he about to say…?"

---

Hitsugaya paced around his office later that evening. He glanced at the sleeping Matsumoto lying in her desk in the corner, and was relieved, for once, that his vice-captain had fallen asleep.

"Damnit, I want to confess to her, but every time I try to go up to her and tell her something distracts me!" he stopped mid-pace, folding his arms "perhaps I should tell her in a different way. Hmm, a poem?" he visibly shivered at the thought "maybe, maybe a letter?"

Hitsugaya smiled, praising his own genius. "Perfect."

He sat down at his desk and pulled out a piece of paper and pen.

"Ah," Hitsugaya scratched the back of his head with his pen "How to start?"

_This isn't just any letter; it's a letter telling Momo how…how I feel about her…_

Some time later Hitsugaya emerged from his desk with the letter. It read:

_Dear Hinamori_

_You are most probably wondering why I would be writing to you without the proper initial letter format. I am not writing to you on business. I suppose you're wondering what then, then again, maybe not but either way…_

_When we met up and were interrupted by that damn Ikkaku (whom I totally Whupped by the way) I, well, I took your hands and was about to tell you something. I also tried at breakfast but was interrupted by your damn taichou, resulting in me not being able to tell you there either! So I figured it would be better if I wrote what I wanted to say to you. _

_Momo, do you remember when we first met? All those memories we shared. And do you remember when I swore to you that I would protect you? If I recall correctly, the very next day you left for the Demon Magic School. Yet, still, I treasured you very much as a friend, although I wouldn't admit it. (Me being the brat I was)_

_But lately, I have felt a shift in my feelings to you. Every time I'm near you I feel so heartened it hurts. _

_Momo, this may seem a shock and sudden, I think I've fallen in love with you. _

_I love you like the sun loves the horizon and you shine on me like the stars. _

_I can't describe how complete I feel in your presence._

_I don't know how else to say it._

_I can only hope you feel the same, yet I understand if you don't. Please inform me._

_I must know._

_From Hitsugaya Toushirou_

Hitsugaya couldn't help but feel embarrassed at what he was doing, writing a love letter, it just seemed…embarrassing and unlike him...

"What if she doesn't feel the same way?" he thought, once again initial panic before admitting one's feelings setting in

"What if she thinks I'm not good at this sort of thing?"

"Don' worry" a sleepy slur sounded from behind him, he glanced behind "ain't like you're commanding a gotei, your just telling yer feelings." Matsumoto snorted in her sleep and her head lolled to the other side.

Hitsugaya gasped "She couldn't possibly…no…no way!" he hastily strode out of the office.

Matsumoto's mouth twitched in her sleep.

---

The next morning Hitsugaya woke up nearly ready to puke.

"It's too late for regrets now." He told himself silently as he walked down the 10th division halls "I'll just drop it in her office."

Somehow, this seemed a lot more trouble than it was worth.

Hitsugaya walked on, stiff-shouldered, clutching the letter, until he reached the 5th division quarters.

_Ok this is it…_

He awkwardly glanced through the small side-window and began to push open the door-

"Good morning Hitsugaya Taichou!" an annoying faceless shinigami popped once again out of the most random place "Come now, the 1st division captain has called for presence at the meeting!"

"Oh! Kuso! I almost forgot!" Hitsugaya said, rubbing his neck "just give me a-"

"Now, now you wouldn't want to keep the 1st division captain waiting!"

And before Hitsugaya could protest, he was being chivvied away by the impertinent shinigami.

Luck, it seemed, was not on his side, for the letter had slipped unknowingly from his taichou robe's pocket, left to be carried away by the corridor breeze.

"And in conclusion to this and this, I believe that _that_ would be the perfect substitution for that's _this_-" Byakuya taichou's monotonous speech floated like a feather over Hitsugaya's ears.

"Hold on Kuchiki taichou-" Zaraki started up now.

Hitsugaya blinked lazily, his cheek slipping down his fist. Really, what point did these meetings have? They were just…useless…pointless…

He glanced around the table at Ichigo.

He seemed to have fallen asleep in his seat, his orange head lolling to one side. Phe! That stupid human boy! Absolutely no …capability of shinigami… … obligations.

Hitsugaya felt his eyelids sliding slowly closed.

BANG! The door burst open, hitting the wall sides. The shock snapped Hitsugaya wide awake. There stood Hinamori Momo.

"Huh? What is the meaning of this?" the 1st division captain spluttered.

"I can't take it any more!" Hinamori said, chest heaving. Her hair blew in the breeze, and she seemed out of breath.

"I'm sorry." Behind her stepped a rather timid-looking Kuchiki Rukia.

"Rukia! What is this? Why didn't you stop her!" Byakuya said in his usual toneless voice.

"I couldn't stop her!" Rukia protested.

A loud klunk signaled Ichigo had woken up and fallen out of his seat.

Hinamori strode into the conference room, oblivious to the gapes and disapproving looks thrown at her. "Hitsugaya Toushirou." She said, stopping to a halt by his seat.

Hitsugaya gaped at her, eyes widened. Was this his Momo? This girl with whiplash dark hair and blazing eyes. "I'm sorry. I can't hide it anymore. " Her expression softened and her eyes watered "I love you."

There was a round of gasps and murmurs, but Hitsugaya registered none of them. His head was spinning.

_What just happened...? _

"I know this is sudden" Hinamori continued when she saw he had no words "but I need to know how you feel."

…

…

"Boku wa…" he started "boku wa…"

He couldn't say it. He couldn't. But he **had** to.

"I think…I think he means yes!" Shunsui shouted aloud.

Hinamori's eyes widened and she broke into smile when he jerked his head in a nod.

Shunsui and Ukitake broke into cheer as she leaped into his arms and hugged him.

Hitsugaya felt himself go pink, he saw Ichigo snigger at him over her shoulder and give thumbs up. "B-baka Hinamori!"

"Well," Rukia said who had moved next to him "I wouldn't really mind a dramatic confession like _that._" Ichigo looked away to another direction, his cheeks going a light pink for some reason.

---

"Aw, come on Shirou-chan, I didn't think it was that embarrassing!" Momo insisted, sitting next to the white haired boy

. "What are you talking about Momo, that was a serious dent to my pride! And you can't call me that dumb name anymore." Hitsugaya grumbled, though he held her hand.

She just laughed, her eyes sparkling. Hitsugaya sighed, deciding to let it go, she was worth it.

The sun set in the horizon, casting an array of pinks and deep orange glows upon the hill they were sitting on. A gentle breeze tickled their skin.

Toushirou glanced at Hinamori; the wind blew the strands of her chocolate hair, while the sun glowed upon her.

_Yep, she's definitely worth it…_

Hinamori looked at Hitsugaya curiously when he unlaced his hand from hers and, blushing slightly, wrapped his arm around her waist. She smiled, relaxing while Hitsugaya rested his head on hers, a tug of a smile on his lip corners as well.

"I think I prefer you as Hitsugaya-kun…"

"Thank god."

**Owari…?**

---

"Man, what a day!" Abara Renji said, walking along "so many damned hollows!"

"Yeah, the 6th and 11th division shinigami were really put through their paces today!"

Madarame Ikkaku replied, yawning, walking next to him.

"I'm looking forward to a nice, long-eh? What's this?" a piece of neatly folded paper blew into Renji's heels. He picked it up.

"Could be something important." He unfolded it.

"Hey, it's to Hinamori-san from Apple-bake boy!" he said, grinning at Ikkaku.

"_Dear Hinamori… You are most probably wondering why I would be writing to you…"_

A/N: Wow, a trip down memory lane for me…hope you guys enjoyed, at least a little bit!

Don't murder me wiff flames pweez! Ducks flying keyboards Gomen-Gomen!

Cu next time!


	8. Blindness

Crack Love: Installment 8

Pairing: Rukia/Byakuya or perhaps the other way round?

Dedicated to: Yasu aka Starla

A/N: Hey minna, well my holidays were wild and unfortunately very short so I am back at school huffs. I decided to give a try at writing a first drabble since I've only really been doing one shots lately, so please review and tell me what you think! Warning-this piece contains some incest and adult themes! It's up to you what you make of this, enjoy the weirdness!

**Title: Blindness**

He had been lying in his bed, recovering, watching the stars outside when she had quietly entered. "Rukia?" he had called out quietly in the dark.

He could sense her emotional distress, he could hear her tears, he had told her earlier about Hisana. His Hisana.

"Nii-sama." She had whimpered, crawling on his lap. In the darkness he could make out her small form. She hastily pressed her lips against his.

If it was a thank you for saving her…he didn't know, he could only taste the salt on her lips.

He briefly remembered Hisana's tears. He would never hear it, but smell the faint scent of salt in the air, and would move over and hold her to him way into the next morning. His warmth and kisses would sooth her, quieten her. Though they never spoke a word.

But, looking down, it was Rukia gazing up at him flushed and moaning, while he remained not completely silent either.

_/We cannot keep doing this…/ _

Rukia's moans stabbed him like nails on a chalkboard.

---

**Owari**

A/N: It's up to you to decide who speaks the one bit of dialect.

PLEASE REVIEW Big smiles and request a pairing if you want, but please tell me what you thought, I took this piece from an original one-shot which was the only part I liked. Ja ne!

_-when Nii-sama saw me disturbed, clinging shamefully to life…he shut me out without even a hint of doubt- _**Rukia, ep. 54**


	9. My Little Tease

Crack Love: Installment 9

Pairing: Ichigo/Yoruichi

Dedicated to: Agent Mofo, Blablabla and Heh!

A/N: Ah, finally after much musing and thinking, I managed to come up with a little scenario for Yoruichi and Ichigo. It took me a lot longer than usual since I have never given this pairing much thought, but I had fun writing this and hope you enjoy this little splash of humor with a ghost of angst! Don't forget to request a pairing!

(GAAH, it's so annoying typing this the American way like: humor! I'm so used to the British way!)

**Title: My Little Tease**

"So, this Rukia girl, you have feelings for her?" Yoruichi asked casually looking ahead, running a hand through her long loose purple hair.

Ichigo visibly choked on his slurp of water, while she raised an eyebrow. Wiping his mouth and glaring up at her he spluttered "N-No way! Where'd you get that idea?"

"I don't know." Yoruichi shrugged innocently "You just seem so dead set on saving her; I just thought you cared for her in that way…"

Ichigo mumbled angrily, stretching out against the rocks.

"I'm doin it to repay a debt, nothing more…" he paused and blinked, looking at her "Why are you even helping out, sorry not that I'm ungrateful but, you don't even know her very well, right?"

Yoruichi shook her head, her deep golden eyes serious. "Kisuke asked me to help out, and I will do anything for him."

Ichigo nodded, both of them looking out over the rocky, dusty plains of their underground training hideout. He smirked slightly, glancing at her.

"Any particular reason you would?"

Yoruichi's look visibly darkened at that, and Ichigo felt his insides twist and turn.

"No, despite how it may look, I am_ not_ sexually related to Urahara Kisuke. We are merely friends."

"Ah." Ichigo said, rubbing a hand on his cheek.

There was a moment's pause. Then, casually, Yoruichi began an interrogation of the boy, trying to find out his true motives.

…

"Jealous?"

Ichigo hacked on his next slurp of water, spraying it out in a pretty shower. "WHAT!"

He gasped at her, wiping his mouth, "What the heck is that supposed to mean?"

Yoruichi smirked. "Jealous that I might like _your_ Kisuke?"

Ichigo went a bright strawberry pink and folded his arms. "What the _hell_? You must be crazy, er, Yoruichi-san!"

Yoruichi smiled, it sure was fun teasing this human boy. Not that he was bad-looking or anything…

"…You're gay, aren't you...?"

"WHAT!" Yoruichi clapped her hands over her ears to soften the noise.

"I-_I_…YOU'RE CRAZY, WOMAN!"

Yoruichi raised an eyebrow at the worked up teen, who was mumbling and cursing. "Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

Ichigo backed down a bit, scratching his head "Er, well…"

"Never, huh? Ever…been attracted to a girl?"

Ichigo visibly went purple, with rage or embarrassment, she didn't know.

"That's-that's _none_ of your business!" he hissed angrily, running a wet hand through his orange hair.

"So you've never had a girlfriend, never been attracted to one…and the first naked body of a women you've seen is mine?" Yoruichi chuckled, as Ichigo slid even further away from her if possible.

"Let me guess; now you're gonna say you like _Shakespear_!"

Ichigo coughed loudly, and glared at her.

"Let's face it Ichigo-kun, you might be gay!"

Ichigo brought his fist down in water. "No-frickin-way!"

"Come on…just think about it…"

"_NO!_"

"My, my, aren't we touchy?"

"You know what!" Ichigo said, standing up "I don't have to sit here and let my sexuality be discussed!"

Yoruichi raised another eyebrow and gestured, smiling.

Ichigo looked down, blushed and sat back in the spring with a splash.

"Forgot your towel?" she remarked casually, hiding her amusement.

Ichigo just grunted, leaned over and pulled the fallen towel from over the rocks.

He held it up to hide himself before standing up and wrapping it around it himself, Yoruichi standing as well believing no need for towels. Ichigo forcibly ignored her state of undress.

"Better get back to training." He said stepping out. Yoruichi followed him, walking ahead.

"Rukia's execution is tomorrow." She murmured to herself, quickening her pace.

"I know" Ichigo, who had apparently heard her, called from behind "I've got to reach bankai before tomorrow!"

He looked down, anywhere but the naked woman in front of him…

"Gay." He scoffed aloud, more to himself than anyone "Of all the _ridiculous_…"

Yoruichi spun around on her heel, grabbed a gasping Ichigo's face and pulled him forward into a fierce kiss. She felt him stiffen in response and pulled him closer, deepening it more.

Her brain suddenly snapped back into consciousness, and she pulled away from him gasping.

From afar an amused Zangetsu watched the spectacle. "Goodness Gracious." He remarked "That boy better stop focusing on his love life and on achieving bankai if he really desires too achieve it!"

"Well…feel…anything?" she asked between gasps. An equally flushed and gasping Ichigo paused for a second, slightly licking his bottom lip. He shook his head.

Yoruichi nodded smiling sullenly. "Yup, definitely gay."

Not waiting for his sputtering response she turned around and began walking away.

"A pity." She called back at him, her head bowed. She raised a finger to her lips, smiling.

_A pity…_

**---**

**Klaa**

A/N: Well, hope you enjoyed that. I thought it would be refreshing to have a kiss between two characters that wasn't one of affection (or was it…0.0). I just pictured this happening between the two of them, and now that I think of it Ichigo and Yoruichi don't have a lot in common but those make for the most interesting couples! Requests onegai! Doozo!


	10. Teen drinking is VERY bad

Crack Love: Installment 10

Pairing: Ganju/Hanatarou

Dedicated to: Growing Pain!

A/N: Ever wonder why, although they played pretty important roles in saving Rukia, Ganju and Hanatarou are not shown there on the day Ichigo returns to the living world?

00…here's my little interpretation (WAY OFF!)…

Get ready for serious crack! Please enjoy!

Oh yes and from now I am spelling things the Britsh way since that was the way I was taught and raised with, and I am not American, although ironically, neither am I British!

Hahaha, ok whatever…

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor do I own the song "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent…0.0

**Title: Teen drinking is VERY bad… **

The faint smell of delicious, fluffy cooking rice was even enough to pull him away from all of his fluffy woodland-critter chummies. Aah…they were sad that he had to go…well fuck them if that sign was how they felt…

Ganju's nose twitched and he slowly wrenched his dusted eyelids apart. The fuzzy shape of his room's ceiling came into view. Oh, it was only a dream, he realized, rolling to his side.

Golden streaks of friendly sunlight shone through his window onto his face and he scrunched up his features, rolling onto his other side.

And brushed up against something very warm and cosy. Fiddling blindly, he peeked open one eye and saw nothing but a cavern of messed sheets, and stretched out his arm.

And wrapped it over a delicate waist.

Ganju was suddenly wide awake, aware that between him and a thick expanse of sheets lay a body next to him.

…_I haven't woken up from my dream yet…_

He widened his eyes purposefully to shake away the feeling of tiredness then tilted his head sideways again. His arm still rested on another's waist.

"Oi…" he muttered slurringly "Why h'ven't ya disappeared yet…?" he nudged it as though trying to roll it gone. When it still did not vanish, his heart began to race rapidly.

But…who…how…_WHY_…?

"I don't wanna look just yet…" Ganju murmured. He raised one eyebrow disbelievingly, lay back, then sat back up and gently leaned over sneaking a peek over the blankets.

_AAAAH…**SHUUHEI**!_

Ganju threw a hand over his mouth to stop from swearing aloud. He lay back, his eyes diluting like after a night of heroin. "What…what did I do last night…?" he asked quietly, and struggling to remember, the inevitable throb, the slight dizziness that only a hangover could bring kicked in. "Aaa-ack!" he hissed, grabbing his forehead.

"Ganju!" Loud raps were suddenly on his door "Ganju!"

Oh no! His sister! Worse…his sister in the MORNINGS… He couldn't let her see him like this!

"Ah, er hai Nee-chan?" he practically whispered back to her as not to wake the sleeping Shuuhei. There was a slight pause behind his door.

"Why are you talking in such a low voice?" his sister asked in a dangerously suspicious voice.

Ganju sweat dropped and fumbled his fried brain. "Ah…well, it's so early in the morning and my voice is still crackly." He added in a pathetic "cough, cough" for extra effect.

He could practically smell the disdain from the other side.

"Fine but I'm coming back here in 10 minutes and you had better be up!" he waited for her loud footsteps to die away. He slapped a hand to his forehead.

"Great!" he moaned "10 minutes to shake off a hangover, wake up a random dude in my bed and avoid a serious misunderstanding thus avoiding an even more serious misunderstanding from Nee-chan."

Ganju actually felt like crying for real, but decided that his nose would get all runny, and the bad habit of nose-picking was NOT what he needed right now. Giving up on procrastination, he rolled over to the task at hand, and looked head over the mess of blankets. Hey, wait a second, that wasn't Shuuhei lying next to him…it was-Hanatarou!

Ganju made a mental note to never judge from simply peeking over barriers and judging by hair colour...

Wait a second…let that sink in…HANATAROU!

WHAT DID HE DO LAST NIGHT? No, surely he didn't. Ganju lifted up the sheets. Yup, he was definitely and yup he definitely **did**…

"Gaah, with-a minor!" Ganju whined, placing his head in his hands "This nightmare just keeps getting worse!"

There was a slight groan next to him. Hanatarou was waking up.

**_EEEEK_**…Ganju's brain registered.

"Mmmm." Hanatarou, still lying face-down, pressed himself up with his hands, staring into the pillow "Unohana-taichou will scold me if I sleep any longer…"

With sleepy blue eyes, the boy ruffled his hair, and looked around. "Eh? This isn't my room."

Gasping, he suddenly clutched his head. "Itai! Itai!" he whimpered "What a headache!"

He looked to his left. His eyes fell on Ganju, who was propped up with one arm. Ganju seemed to pause, before offering a lop-sided smile with one corner lower than the other.

"G-Ganju-san…?" Hanatarou murmured, confusedly "What…are you doing here?"

"Er, eh, hehe" Ganju laughed, while inside the chinks of his brain were spinning to come up with a way to tell him "I…think it's more of…what are you doing here…"

Hanatarou blinked again, and rolled over under the blankets, and snuck a peek under.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Hanatarou! Hanatarou!" Ganju cried out soothingly, trying-to-get-him-to-shut-up-before-nee-chan-comes-in.

Hanatarou had rolled out of the bed, taking a sheet with him. He was on the bridge of sobbing, his eyes widening fearfully. "G-GANJU-SAN WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!"

"Shhhsh, Shhhsh, that's what I've been trying to figure out!" Ganju said, relieved that he didn't have to explain the circumstances.

Hanatarou rubbed his head "Etto! Why does my head hurt so much!"

"Let's try to remember…" Ganju said, trying and failing to look pro-active "What happened last night?"

Ganju's eyes misted over. It was a party at their house…he remembered shoving food into Ichigo's mouth…had some drinks when Nee-chan wasn't looking…and suddenly all he could recall was…very dark…warm body on top of him…cute little "Ganju-_sannn_…"

He looked up, blushing, at Hanatarou.

"And then I remember being poured something bitter and after a while it tasted nice…and you carried me to your room cuz' we were both sleepy and…" Hanatarou trailed off, blushing too.

Gasping and suddenly springing into action, Hanatarou fumbled into a clumsy, low bow on the ground.

"I-I am most sorry Shiba Ganju-sama!" he spluttered quickly, the sheets dipping down on him with his bend "Please forgive me…for…well, er-"

"Sleeping with me?" Ganju said quietly. "Ah!" Hanatarou yelled, ducking his head "too embarrassing!"

Ganju didn't say anything, but that comment…stung a little. Not that he didn't regret it, but that didn't mean he didn't enjoy it…nothing was wrong with that, right?

"Do you…" he said quietly "…regret it?"

Hanatarou looked up, mouth dropping slightly.

Ganju's door banged open and Kuukaku stomped in. Ganju's blood froze in its flow at the sight of his sister, and Hanatarou squealed in fright, ducking under the sheet.

Kuukaku strolled in, wearing that contraption that Ichigo left to her called 'headphones' over her head. She waved her two index fingers back and forth to the beat.

"Mimimimi mimimi miiiiiiii!" she mewed, her eyes closed. Ganju sweat dropped.

She opened her green, cat like eyes. "What?" she said, pulling them down to her neck.

"Ganju." She began angrily "I thought I told you to get your ass up. You just missed seeing Ichigo off!"

Raising an eyebrow she looked down at the trembling shape under the sheet.

She bent over.

"Boo."

The form jumped in mid-air and came down again shaking. She looked up at her brother, hiding himself under the blankets on his bed. She raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"Finally getting some, ne Ganju?" she teased. Ganju blushed and fumbled. "N-N-N-Nee-chan!" he yelled, embarrassed.

"Whaaad?" she said defensively, placing her headphones back on "How did you _think_ I would take it?"

She pushed the start button. "Just don't sleep _too _late!" she called, walking out, waving her fingers again.

There was a pause, and Hanatarou peeked cautiously under. Ganju ignored him, resting his head in his hands staring at the ceiling. It had certainly been an interesting 2 weeks…

He blinked in surprise when he felt a warm cheek rest cautiously on his shoulder. He glanced over and looked straight into Hanatarou's deep blue eyes. He smiled awkwardly, pulling up the blanket to cover him too.

"Iie, I-I don't regret it…" he murmured. Something in that sentence caused his heart to start throbbing quietly. He turned to face him, wrapping an arm around the younger boy's waist.

After lying in comfortable silence for a while, just staring at each other, Hanatarou blushed and looked down, murmuring something. "What?" Ganju asked quietly.

"I-I think Ganju-san smells nice…" Ganju went a little red at that "demo…I didn't know Ganju-san liked boys!"

"Er…" Ganju faultered at that "I dunno, yea, I guess I do…"

They both looked up at the sound of a loud racket coming from the other side of the house.

_Damn Ichigo_…he thought…_it's probably that other damn contraption he gave Nee-chan, what was it again? Hie-fie…? _

Despite the racket, the two young lovers managed to retain their own little world where only the other existed for most of the morning…

That was, at least until _"Candy Shop"_ came on…

---

**Klaa**

A/N: Sorry if you don't like the song "Candy Shop" (remember I do NOT own it!) but me, I just think it's so fitting…!

See you next time!

Don't forge that teen drinking is VERY bad…except if you are Hanatarou…


	11. Friends till the End

Crack Love: Installment 11

Pairing: Ichigo/Tatsuki

Dedicated to: Dragonzair

A/N: WHOOP WHOOP, I'm back, WHOOP WHOOP! (Sorry, I just love that word…)

Ah, I am in such a good mood it's elating! Yup it is Saturday morning, and I just needed to get some creative juices flowing before going out! Ok, not that you really needed to know that, but ah well.

Ichigo and Tatsuki have been a pairing I've looked at from afar, and never done anything with, until now.

Slight spoilers from the manga as this one-shot is based on the manga chapter 214 "Immanent God Blues" so if you haven't reached that far some things may be revealed…but do we care, huh? Nooo….we just want to reeeeaaad….

Please enjoy! Warning, teenage angst abound!

**Title: Friends till the End**

After the severe fight with the Arrancar yesterday, Ichigo was seriously regretting coming to school. Having to limp all the way from, thankfully with Rukia far ahead, and turning into the classroom. Not only that, he wasn't feeling…himself.

Ichigo leaned against the doorway, eyes lidded, as he gazed around the classroom.

All these people babbling, laughing, talking non-sense…he had almost lost it all yesterday.

He may have been bad at remembering people's names but they all contributed to a part of his world…wasn't it ironic that he was only appreciating it now, when he was slowly slipping away…

"OI! OI! Ichigo!" Keigo's hand waved in front of him. He blinked, smacking it away.

"Sheesh, you really zoned out there!" Keigo said, smiling, before faltering at his stature

"Whoa! You look like hell! You got in another fight!"

"I'm fine." Ichigo ground out more harshly than he meant to. Gripping his bag strap more tightly he made his way over to his seat.

_Did you even feel a speck of obligation to help me out when I was hurt…?_

_Your own injuries are your own problems…_

Ichigo blinked looking up, the wind was roaring outside the window, much like the inner battle he was facing…

He wasn't sure what he had exactly done but when he looked to his right, a pair of eyes were fixed on him unabashedly. Rukia, mouth slightly dropped, stared in surprise over at him. He only caught her eyes for a moment, before dropping them in guilt.

Guilt. Guilt over what?

---

Tatsuki walked homeward bound along the bridge with slow steps, holding her bag at her knees. The wind had calmed slightly, thank god. So much had happened lately.

A few days to digest the newly revealed information that her friends possessed other-worldly powers, and were combining forces with warriors called death gods (who, was one of her friends by the way) to fight off these…monster…_things_…just wasn't enough yet.

And she had noticed the change in Kurosaki Ichigo, for a while now. Not only that day but long before, a hidden glint in the back of his eyes, a ghost of a twitch at the corner's of his lips…

_Tatsi-chan! Look, I've improved!_

_Don't call me that stupid name! And…ok fine, good work…_

It was a far cry from those days, when they were…close. Now she couldn't even approach Ichigo without getting yelled at by him.

"But then again," Tatsuki said aloud, to herself, bitterly "nothing is forever…"

Stepping off the bridge, she began to walk along the pavement next to the grassy banks by the river. Rain clouds were gathering.

She began to daze into a day dream, walking along.

"_Ichi, Ichi! Why are you standing here?"_

…

"_Ichi, what is it…"_

… "_Okaasan's gone…"_

…

"_Ichi I'm sorry."_

"_Tatsi-chan…-"_

Tatsuki rooted in her place, looking up. She raised her hand and pressed it against her right eye. A wet trickle spread on it.

"Huh? But why?" she murmured. Raising her other hand she awkwardly wiped her other eye, sniffing.

Blinking when she heard an identical; loud sniff; she turned her head to the side. Walking cautiously over to the dip if the bank. An aerial view of a familiar orange head of hair she saw.

Speak of the devil…for some reason that thought sent a chill down her spine.

Sensing her for the first time Ichigo glanced around. "Tatsuki!" he growled in a hoarser voice than usual "What the hell are you doing here?" he turned back round. "Go away."

Tatsuki had already noticed, there were slight rims of red at the lids of his eyes.

Before the refreshingly usual attitude kicked in.

"What the hell? 'Go away'? Who do you think you're talking to? _Keigo_?"

"Bitch I'm trying to get some peace and quiet!"

"It's freezing! And it's getting late! You should go home!"

"You're one to talk…"

Tatsuki raised an eyebrow at the defeated tone. Ichigo remained silent, his back facing her. He blinked when he heard a sniffle behind him. Glancing behind his shoulder, he saw the girl placing her bag down and kneeling. One palm was fisted. He raised his gaze to hers. There was a slight shimmer in them.

"Damnit, Ichigo, what the hell's wrong!"

Ichigo titled towards her slightly resting on an arm.

"That's none of your business Tatsuki!" he hissed, feeling sick inside.

The short-lived argument died down, Tatsuki's angry expression changing.

After a moment of silence she spoke again.

"Why…why is not of my business, Ichigo…" she began, her voice cracking "Why is it everyone's business but mine?" she brought a fist down on her lap, looking up again.

"You used to tell me everything…"

It rung in Ichigo's ears. Memories of them together came flying through his memory like a film.

He closed his eyes for avoidance of more collecting water.

"You want to know…huh?" he said quietly "It's my pitiful problems…"

"Is it the death god work?" her hand ghosted his fisted one. He opened his eyes at the contact. He blinked.

Tatsuki looked on, tugging his arm. _"It's time for school, Ichi!"_

He blinked again.

A gentle expression framed her features, a small smile just for him.

He swallowed, not knowing what to say…she was almost there…

"You know, I can understand, it must be a lot of pressure on you…" she continued, easing at the gathering water reflected in his eyes.

And suddenly the build up in him felt like it was being dropped from his shoulders and he fell with it, pressing his fists into the grass until they turned white.

"I-I'm getting weaker, and I don't know why…I feel weaker every day" he shook his head, closing his eyes again, not before a lone droplet escaped it "I…I don't know how much more…". He wiped it swiftly and felt abashed.

"Damnit Tatsuki, you're never gonna see this again!"

Tatsuki smiled, in spite of the jab. "It's alright." She said, quietly "It's just me…"

Ichigo opened his eyes again, looking up at her slowly. He struggled for a moment, then gave in and said what he wanted to say.

"Do you… remember when we'd come here all the time…this reminds me of it…" he looked up at her.

"That's why I don't want to involve you…you're the one thing in my world which hasn't changed…"

Tatsuki mouthed it slowly. She looked down, then up at him again, her hand had long moved from his "Ichigo…I'll always be here, you… just forgot it, and-and maybe you just need to make a change in _yourself_"

That statement made her feel silly, but, slowly, a dawning expression was forming on her long-time friend's face. Like the sun rising.

Tatsuki gasped when her shoulders were grasped, in slow motion, and she was pressed into Ichigo's arms.

His scent, his warmth, his arms all encircling her…

A visible tinge painted her cheekbones red as her body went rigid, her chin resting on his shoulder.

"_Tatsuki…"_

His breath on her ear made her shiver involuntarily.

"Tatsuki, arigatou…" He had buried his nose in her hair "this may be the last time we see each other."

And then he was gone, had let go of her. Ichigo stood up, a goal in mind, his face set once again in that determined expression she knew so well.

"Sorry." He murmured before climbing up the bank and walking in the opposite direction.

Despite his slow pace, she did not try and follow him.

That little boy she had continued to search for all this time was gone for good and her place was not next to him. It was time to let go of her selfish wish of changing him again. He had his own challenges to meet, without her. She couldn't be with him, but she could be behind him.

"You've become strong haven't you, Ichigo?"

And Ichigo continued walking foreword, ignoring the noise within him.

"_That girl will be the first to go when I return, ne Ichigo?"_

Ichigo couldn't stop himself from nodding, with every passing minute, giving in to his hollow a little bit more.

_-"Tatsi-chan- don't ever leave me either…"_

"_No way, friends are friends Ichi…right till the end."-_

---

**Fin**

A/N: Wow, it felt quite weird writing that for some reason. I'm not so sure what to make of this…ah anyway. I think Ichigo hides a lot of things and this is just my take on how he truly feels inside knowing that he is succumbing to the evil within him, and of course, I think Tatsuki is just the same…


	12. Kindergarten jock

Crack Love: Installment 12

Pairing: Yachiru/Hitsugaya

Dedicated to: Xenodephun

A/N: Yo guys, wazzup? Gah, we have SEVEN frickin projects for school! THAT CUTS INTO VALUABLE LAZING TIME! whimpers Oh well, here's just a small installment until I can write the next one! Hope you enjoy! Chowz!

By the way I got the title of this fic from the movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger or however you spell his name. I do not own it nor do I own Bleach (also if you have seen it you should agree it is the LAMEST movie ever…shivers)

**Title: Kindergarten jock**

"Argh! Kuso!"

Matsumoto looked up from her position on the couch at the frustrated outcry from her child-prodigy captain.

Hitsugaya wore a scowl on his normally handsome features, making him look too old for his age. A knocked over mug of coffee let loose a rapid current of black liquid onto his important papers. The young captain tried in vain to assemble his papers and lift them up before they were soaked in coffee.

Matsumoto watched with a twitchy grin as the child genius let out a string of colourful curses under his breath which you'd never imagine him knowing.

Sensing her humorous reaction Hitsugaya looked up, setting his green-glare-of-death upon her and she quickly went back to her manga, gripping it with twitchy fingers.

Focusing but not reading, she kept her eyes downward and listened for sounds. She heard scuffling, more muttering, and a giant crash followed by an enraged howl.

Jumping in shock, the blonde haired woman looked up. Hitsugaya was busy shoving anything and everything off his desk in a rage.

"Taichou!"

When everything had been successfully shoved off the other side he stood there, fists clenched, back arched, panting angrily.

"Taichou!" she said, running over to him, placing her hands on his shoulders as would a mother. He stiffened slightly at her touch but did not turn around.

"Taichou what's wrong!"

Teeth grit, he turned around in pure rage and frustration.

"I.Am.Half.A.Day.Behind.Work." he ground out.

Matsumoto blinked, retracting her hands. "Half a day?" she repeated slowly.

Hitsugaya held up a hand to stop her. "Don't remind me Matsumoto!" he said as though the thought was too unbearable to hear.

"But…that's not too bad…is it?" Matsumoto asked, choosing her words carefully.

A vein literally burst in the boy genius's head.

"I mean, I mean of _course_ it's something to stress over!" Matsumoto said quickly, holding up her hands in defense of the wielder of Hyourinmaru. She privately thought of the stacks of paperwork she had piled under the couches…

A string of babble brought her back from her day-dream. The white-haired boy was now pacing around waving his arms widely.

"Just illogical totally impossible! Meetings; meetings; meetings, paperwork; paperwork; paperwork, yadda yadda yadda from Yamamoto-"

Matsumoto realized, with little humour, that her captain was having a full-on stress attack.

"Taichou, taichou sit down" she ushered to her captain.

Hitsugaya's bloodied eyes bulged madly.

"Are you **_CRAZY_**?" he said, laughing humourlessly.

"Come on, that's it now." Matsumoto said gently, after a while of tugging and persuasion, sitting Toushirou down.

"Now, you just lie down there." Matsumoto said, guiding his shoulders down so his head would rest against the fluffy couch pillow. Hitsugaya wore a very confused look, just once looking his young age.

"Matsumoto, what is this madness?" he asked, more to himself than anyone.

"…Relaxation." Matsumoto whispered soothingly.

"Relax…ation…?" Hitsugaya murmured with a far away look.

"Yes, now you just rest here for the rest of the evening…_relax_…" Matsumoto said, pulling and unfolding her pink scarf till it billowed out.

"But…what about…the paperwork…" Hitsugaya drawled, his eyes drooping in comfort.

Now came the hard part.

"I'll take care of it…" Matsumoto said with a forced smile, throwing the scarf over him.

Hitsugaya sat up, wide awake at that. "Oh no you won't. Not after last time."

Matsumoto smiled widely. "Don't be sillyyyyy, I will take care of it all properly I _promise_…"

"But there really is…" Hitsugaya began sleepily, his head falling back against the pillow "…no…need…"

And with that the child prodigy had fallen fast asleep.

Getting up, the blonde-haired bust queen made her way over to the wrecked desk.

Quietly picking up fallen things such as pens; paper racks; millions and millions of unfinished papers. It was a wonder that Hitsugaya-taichou's desk had enough space for everything.

_Hmm…_Matsumoto scratched her head when everything had been set back to order_…guess I'd better start…_

"Head of Soul Society's gotei-13 Yamamoto Genrusyaai will soon be installing a new theatre arena for social entertainment and wishes to name it fully. The last name has already been chosen which is 'Crane' in memory of his grandfather. Please supply a potential first name."

Matsumoto raised an eyebrow.

"Crane…?" Dipping her pen in ink she began to scratch in Icabod in the given line.

---

"No really Matsumoto I'm_ fine_. But…thank you for the tea anyway…"

It was the next morning and Hitsugaya had awoken to find himself not in his bed but on the 10th division couch. Accepting the mug from his smiling vice-captain he took a long refreshing sip. Blinking, his green eyes lit up in realization.

"Oh yeah, the-the paperwork!" He said, startled and began pulling off the pink scarf, but Rangiku stopped him in mid-pull.

"Not to worry" she said with a strangely scary smile "It's all done."

Hitsugaya swallowed slowly. "It's…all done…?"

Matsumoto nodded reassuringly. "It really wasn't that hard, I think you were just a little over-worked taichou…"

Hitsugaya sat back against the pillow, deep in thought, mug in hand.

_That Matsumoto…she managed to finish ALL the work…how…?_

"Taichou."

The cautious tone made him snap from his day dream. He looked to his side.

"What is it Matsumoto?" he asked in his usual bored tone.

Matsumoto pouted slightly, wringing her hands. "Uh…"

"What?" Hitsugaya asked patiently.

"Well, I think, I mean as your vice-captain I have every right to say that I think you've been over-working yourself."

Hitsugaya opened his mouth in indignation, prepared to blast.

"No, don't interrupt me captain!" Matsumoto said, looking as though she suddenly decided she was interrupted. "Listen, taichou, I know it can be hard to accept but you _are_ still a child"

That had done it. Hitsugaya dipped his head downwards hiding his gaze, though it wasn't really needed. "Matsumoto-I AM NOT A CHILD!" he suddenly yelled.

"You see! You are a child having a tantrum like this!" Matsumoto yelled back on impulse.

Immediately realizing her fatal mistake she shut her eyes for the cold blow of Hyourinmaru, but when it didn't come she peeked them open.

Hitsugaya had been silenced by that comment, looking truly surprised. His mouth was slightly opened at the groove and his eyes had widened considerably.

""Matsumoto…" he said finally, slowly "What…should I do…?"

Matsumoto realized that her captain was truly confused, and was asking for her help, as an adult. She smiled. "Taichou think it's about time you spent a bit of time ,you know, hanging around with someone…"

"Oh please-" Hitsugaya interrupted

"-_With someone_…more your age…"

"My age?" Hitsugaya snorted "And whom, may I enquire, is 'more my age'?"

---

"Friggen Matsumoto!" Hitsugaya ground out. He was more than over (and secretly a little embarrassed at) his little tantrum fest and actually rather eager to get back to his paperwork.

Sitting in the 10th division lounge, on the floor with his arms crossed impatiently, he awaited Matsumoto's little 'surprise guest.'

"MINI-GRANDPA-CHAN!"

Oh god. Not that voice.

Hitsugaya opened one green eye. A little pink bundle of black with flaming pink hair bounced up and down before him.

"K-Kusijaku-fukutaichou…"

"There we go!" A chipper voice said at the doorway. Matsumoto held the door handle at the ready, grinning broadly "Have fun you two!"

"MATSU-" But the door had already been slid shut hastily.

"Sooo" Yachiru said squeakily ""What do ya wanna playyyyy?"

A thin silver eyebrow twitched on Hitsugaya's forehead.

"I…don't know." He said flatly, wondering how long he would have to endure this, and whether Matsumoto had been planning it all along.

He leaned back against the foot of the couch, crossing one leg, not making any indication of what he wanted to do. The pink haired girl merely sat in front of him, staring.

20 quiet minutes passed and he had shut his eyes, trying to relax, but still feeling the burning gaze upon his skin. Yachiru had not moved from her spot on the floor staring at him without blinking

"Just,-just stop staring at me like that!" Hitsugaya finally ground out, feeling like falling off the edge of sanity.

She suddenly broke her trance-like stare and giggled. "Wow, grandpa-chan is really good, Ken-chan usually gets angry after two minutes!" she sang, clapping her hands happily.

_Grrrr, this little brat…in what way is she close to my level of maturity…_

Hitsugaya shuddered at the thought of him possibly acting that way when he was her age.

Come to think of it…that wasn't _too_ long ago…

"Oi, oi Grandpa-chan!"

"Hold it" the ice prince interrupted coldly "first let's get one thing straight, I am not…grandpa-chan…you will address me as Hitsugaya-sama."

The smile dropped from Yachiru's bright little face. Her top lip drooped in being denied her little nick-name and her brown eyes watered up.

"H-Hitsu-sama is **_mean_**."

Hitsugaya was slightly taken aback by that. "It's not mean, it's how a captain should be addressed!" he said firmly.

Yachiru shook her head, looking heartbroken.

Hitsugaya's eyes widened at that.

"Ok, ok, you can call me whatever you want." He said, in the rare moment of giving in.

Her eyes cleared but her smile only slightly returned.

"Arigatou, Hitsugaya-sama." She said, bowing her head.

Hitsugaya made no facial change but was slightly surprised at that, did she not just want to call him 'grandpa-chan?'

Oh well, it didn't really matter to him anyways…

"A BUTTERFLY!" she suddenly screeched, making him look to his side. An ordinary blue butterfly flew by the windowsill.

Using shunpo, the little girl raced to the window capturing it in her hands.

"Little butterfly go BYE-BYE!" she shouted, ready to squish it.

Suddenly two small strong hands clutched her wrists. In the way a child would react to a stranger touching them, she gasped and glanced up.

"Oi, you shouldn't be doing that!" Hitsugaya said lazily "Don't kill it!"

"But I wanna see its blood!" she whined, holding on crossly.

"Why would you want to do that, if you have to kill it in order to do so?" Hitsugaya

retorted, getting angry, his protective instinct surfacing.

"But I wanna! I wanna! I wanna!" she whined, sticking out her tongue.

He was easily stronger than her and forced her grip open to free the slightly pressed butterfly.

Yachiru watched it sway for a second, before it flapped its wings and began flying away again.

"You see" Hitsugaya said "look how delicate it is, it doesn't deserve to be killed. Nothing should be killed without good reason. Shinigami _protect_ living souls, even those small butterflies."

He realized the gentle tone he was using. Yachiru had turned away from him. He looked on expectantly.

"I…it's just…" she spoke quietly, her voice had become dull; expressionless.

Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow.

"Blood…is like air to me." She said quietly, resting a cheek on her palm.

Hitsugaya braced himself.

"I was brought to one of the most violent, dangerous quatrains of Rukongai. Back there it wasn't unusual for a baby like me to get murdered. But…Ken-chan found me! Before Ken-chan all I remember is the colour and smell of blood."

Hitsugaya waited for more, but none came. That was it? No long sob story?

Funnily enough, Hitsugaya thought she deserved more of a sad story to tell…after all she was such a…happy child.

Who knew Yachiru had this solemn wistful side to her? He realized he must have been one of the few…maybe they weren't so different after all…

"Hitsu-sama?" he blinked and looked back at her.

"Hai?"

Yachiru's little smile was back in place.

"I…like talking with Hitsu-oniisan." She said in shy voice.

"Er…" Hitsugaya didn't really know what he should have said back, but before he could answer she leaned on her tip-toes and gave him a soft, shy kiss on his cheek.

The 10th division captain felt his face heat up at that and he looked downwards.

"Me too…"

_Great! All you can think to say back is…Me too?_

"Er, Kusijaku-san" he called out as she headed for the door "Where are you going?"

Yachiru smiled back at him, closing her eyes. "I told Ken-chan I'd be back before he goes out training our division."

"Oh." His eloquent reply was.

"But I enjoyed talking with Grandpa-chan!" she sang walking out. Hitsugaya's head dropped at the name in defeat.

"Ha! Only kidding" her face popped back in "bye onii-san!"

Hitsugaya watched the door slide closed again.

"Onii-san?" he thought to himself. He was an onii-san!

He quickly pushed it out of his mind, it was unbefitting of a captain to spend time over such trivial thoughts…

---

"So captain?" Matsumoto said grinning broadly as her captain strolled into his office. "Do you feel better?"

Hitsugaya stopped by his desk, not facing her.

"Matsumoto, if possible you've just made it worse…"

…

…

"Oi? What are all those ashes in the corner?"

…

"…I thought it would help if we burned the not so important ones…"

---

**Owari**

A/N: Interesting fact, the word kindergarten is primarily used in America but is actually a Dutch word. Kinder-meaning child, and garten-meaning garden. Since in my language kinder also means child I pack out laughing when I hear Americans say it, it sounds so funny! No offence to any American people, it sounds cool when you say it!

Anyways,sorry for such a long and rather anti-climatic story, I hope you weren't too disappointed, I tried my best! Please review!


	13. Speak my Language!

Crack Love: Installment 13

Pairing: Ichigo/Orihime

Dedicated to: Nackmack and Starfire Hime

A/N: Yo all, I'm back after finally completing six projects! I hope this chapter will be an improvement to the previous one, I know it had many grammar mistakes and stuff, I wrote it in a rush so…I really hope this one will be a bit better! Please review and request a pairing!

**Title: Speak my language!**

"Alright class, settle down, settle down, Asano _put that away_." Occhi-sensei prattled on at the usual early morning chit-chat as students all began to take their seats for the start of the day.

Ichigo, his chin resting on his fist, looked boredly on as the last few teenagers began to quieten down. He secretly prided himself on being_ far_ more mature and perceptive than most of the idiots in his class, not that it really mattered.

To his right Rukia sat, smiling brightly at the teacher and everyone else, secretly priding herself on being such a brilliant actress.

Two desks behind him sat Inoue Orihime, a look of concentration in her delicate facial features, secretly priding herself on being able to hide so much loneliness and anguish so well, after all, it wasn't right burdening others with her issues…

"I've got another assignment for you!" Occhi said, grinning "It's a prepared conversation between you and a partner but it has to be entirely in English."

There were spreads sounds of foreheads hitting desks and groans, mostly from the boys.

"Now now I know you're all _very excited_" Occhi said, with a hint of warning in her tone

"But let me finish, since there are an even number of girls and boys in this class one girl will be paired up with one boy. Girls, come up and pick names from this box."

The young woman held out a box lazily as the squealing- with -delight girls all scuttled up and queued up to pick.

Ichigo mildly wondered who would pick him, while watching Rukia stick her tiny hand in and pull out a piece of folded paper. The black-haired girl whirled around with a big, obviously fake smile. "Asano-kun!" she trilled at the brown-haired boy who almost fell out of his seat "We have been paired!"

Right behind her the blood drained from Inoue Orihime's face as she stared at her partner's name.

"W-what god is so kind to have smiled upon me today!" Asano had yelled, jumping up with tears in his eyes "To pair me with sweet-sweet Kuchiki-san!"

Ichigo scoffed quietly as he waltzed over to Rukia, grasping her hands in his.

"Never fear Kuchiki-san! You've made the right choice! Not only will I protect you from failing English, but from everything else need be!"

"Er…yes!" Rukia replied smiling brightly, obviously not knowing what the hell he was on about "I…look forward to working with you!"

Ichigo tore his gaze away from the pitiful sight, gazing around the class. No one had approached him yet…which girl was his partner?

Che, whoever they were they probably were avoiding him because of his ever obnoxious hair and was the last person they would have wanted to go with…not that he _cared_ away…

---

"Eh? You're with Chad?"

Tatsuki nodded, shrugging. "What's so bad about that?" she asked the snobbish Ryou next to the giggling Michiru.

"Well" Ryou said, pausing to phrase her thoughts "He hardly ever talks, so you'll probably end up making conversation with _yourself_!"

"Don't say that!" Tatsuki countered "I've talked to him once! He's a nice guy, so don't just assume things about people!"

"Oooo," Michiru said playfully "Getting _so_ worked up over a guy you hardly know?"

Tatsuki gasped and blushed slightly "Well who are you going with?" she shot back.

Michiru's grin dropped a little. "M-Mizuiro." She said quietly, a light blush now tickling her cheeks "He's very nice to me, very helpful…"

"Aaargh, what is this?" Mahana interrupted "Everyone this is an oral speech, not '_Romeo_ _and Juliet_' dramatizations!"

"Waaah! It's just not fair! Why couldn't I have been paired with my 'hime?" Chizuru wailed, dipping her head despondently.

Even at the mention of her name, Orihime remained very quiet, sitting under the shade, chewing thoughtfully.

"Who _are_ you with Orihime?"

Mahana's question startled her and she jumped. "Eh… well ehehe…" she began awkwardly.

Kurosaki-kun.

She was with Kurosaki-kun. The boy she had always_ dreamed_ about since 8th grade.

"Oi, oi!" Tatsuki interrupted, waving away the staring faces "If she doesn't wanna say, she doesn't wanna say!"

"What has she got to hide?" Ryou said, raising an eyebrow.

"K-Kurosaki-kun." Orihime said suddenly, in a soft voice.

"_Kuro_-saki? Uggggh! He is probably the most anti-social guy in existence!"

"Not to mention his terrible hair-colour!"

"Well Ryou!" Tatsuki snapped, shooting to Orihime's defense "Who are you with?"

Ryou visibly retracted. "Er…well, Ishida…"

"WAAAAAAAA!"

But Orihime was ignoring her friend's shouts, by the end of the day she needed to tell Kurosaki-kun they were together…

_Together…_

---

Ichigo began neatly placing his books in his bag. Still no one had approached him for the English speech, he was starting to get annoyed…

"Et..to…Kurosaki-kun?"

He looked up from his bag. Inoue stood before him smiling widely.

"Oh Inoue." He said tonelessly.

Normally one would have taken that attitude offensively, but Orihime knew that trait was just too ingrained into his character, he wasn't meaning to be rude.

"Hello Kurosaki-kun!" she said cheerfully "Er, I'm just here to say that we have been partnered for the English conversation!"

"Oh." Slight surprise registered in his deep brown eyes before he relaxed "So _you're_ my partner? Why didn't you come tell me earlier?"

Oh no. Why hadn't she…?

"Er, well, I was kind of in a dreamy mood today" she began babbling sheepishly "The weather so nice and warm and my mental flowers needed some watering and soil replacement and-"

"Inoue?" Ichigo asked confusedly.

"Er." She shut her mouth "Yes?"

"Do you want to come over to my house to work on the assignment?"

_To Kurosaki-kun's…house…? _

"Oh yes!" she replied, bowing "Arigatou gozaimasu!"

"Give me two seconds." He said, walking off to Rukia, who was standing by the door.

Orihime contemplated the strange relationship they seemed to share, as she watched him converse with Kuchiki-san. Their distance (not very far); their expressions (mostly annoyed-looking) and their words (mostly comprised of "idiot" and "oi!").

She blinked as Rukia walked away and he signaled for her to follow him.

_This…this could be my chance…_

---

Isshin's jaw hung to the ground as he watched the beautiful, mysterious girl being led up the stairs by a friendly Yuzu.

As he walked past Ichigo noticed the expression on his father's face.

"Do not show your face!" he snarled over his shoulder "Don't use tea and cakes as an excuse to bother our work!"

But his father was smiling and waggling a knowing finger.

"All this secrecy Ichigo? Don't worry your father knows! I'll give you as much time as you want, just remember to use protection-"

Ichigo's fist slammed into Isshin's nose. "Don't twist reality old man!"

"Aah Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime said as the door slid open and he walked in ""You have such a nice room!"

"Er thanks," Ichigo replied, glancing around the barely decorated place ""Shall we get started?"

"Yup!" she answered flamboyantly and sat on the edge of his bed. He pulled up his swivel chair closer to her so they could face each other.

"So…" Ichigo said after pulling out a pen and paper "What should our topic be?"

"What about two magic fairies that stumble upon a Zen garden and want to make it their new home?" Orihime suggested.

Ichigo stared at her for a moment before realizing she was serious. "Um, ok…" he said awkwardly jotting down the idea "any others?"

"Hmm," Inoue was deep in thought before dropping her gaze to meet his. They stayed like that for a few seconds, Ichigo's resolve slowly shrinking under her lidded gaze.

"Ah, Inoue?"

"What about a…love confession?" she blurted out in a soft voice.

"A love confession?" Ichigo thought about it for a second.

"Yeah, why not."

Orihime almost gasped. "You -you mean it? I mean it's ok if you don't want to, I'm sure it doesn't appeal much to guys-"

"No. I don't mind." Was Ichigo's short reply.

As they began to jot down their confession, Orihime felt her love expanding ten-fold.

It was a wonderful feeling.

---

"Ewww, you went to his _house_?" Ryou repeated at the smiling Orihime.

"Hai." She replied firmly.

Ryou said nothing then, but merely shook her head.

"Can you believe the speeches are tomorrow?" Michiru whined "My English pronunciation is _terrible_!"

"Everyone's pronunciation is terrible!" Tatsuki said, rolling her eyes "Except for Ichigo."

"Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime asked, looking at Tatsuki.

"Yup, haven't you ever _heard_ him speaking English? It's like he's got it down to an art."

"Lucky you, you'll probably get a good mark!"

…

…

"Oi, what's wrong with Orihime? She looks all pink and dazed!"

---

Ichigo looked over what they had written the previous day. "That should be enough." He said easily, handing a copy to Orihime while she poured them tea.

"Let's practice then." He said. Orihime nodded, taking an awkward sip of tea.

"_It's not as though I'll never see you again, we're friends, I'll visit you some time_." Ichigo started off with confident pronunciation.

It was her line now. Orihime swallowed, not very confident in her English abilities.

It's ok, Inoue" Ichigo said, not unkindly "It doesn't have to be perfect, just try!"

She nodded slowly and began.

"_You're…reavingu …again?_"

"_...What's the matter…Inoue…?_"

"_You're_ _always leaving! I… don't understand why you always have to be gone. It feels like forever since you've visited home_."

"_I gave up staying here long ago.._." Ichigo continued in his smooth English voice.

"_Yea and I want you to know that it's a little fuck-ed up_-Kurosaki-kun isn't that an English swear word?"

"It'll make the situation more realistic." Ichigo said, shrugging. Orihime shrugged as well and continued.

"_I want you to know that it's a little fucked up, that I'm always stuck here waiting, trying to continue my life, trying to stay by the telephone, because your voice always helps me not feel so alone…"_

"_What…does that mean? You miss me? You won't let me go? It's like you think I enjoy leaving you! I've found a career I love! Why can't you ever be happy for me?"_

"_I…I guess I'm just saying I've **had it** with you and your career you love, I'm obviously not in your life, I'm…very happy for you…"_

"_Inoue, wait, where are you going?"_

"…_I love you…"_

She didn't know what possessed her, but before she knew it she was leaning over the table. Ichigo's eyes widened.

She brushed her lips against his, getting closer.

"INOUE! INOUE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Ichigo yelled leaning back to her advances.

She opened her eyes.

"Oh sorry, aren't people supposed to kiss after confessing love?"

Ichigo shook his head widely. "Well…yes, but no kissing! This is just a pretend conversation!"

"Oh." She blinked, sitting back down.

Ichigo stood up. "I'd better get going." He said, gruffly "Thanks for the tea."

"Ano Kurosaki-kun…" Orihime started. He looked back.

She retracted. "Nothing…"

She said her goodbyes to him with promise to practice that night.

_Would he have let me do it…if it were real…?_

---

Orihime didn't say much To Ichigo the next morning, she was not angry with him, she was just a little nervous about the speech…right?

"You ready?" he asked as she took her seat. She nodded, smiling.

"Alright people, take your seats. Let's get the speeches started!" Ochiro said, clapping her hands.

And it seemed like everything went ok, many people did their speeches (hilariously).

But …when Rukia and Asano went up, Ichigo had almost sputtered in indignation at the content of their speech.

"Keigo-san I think I'm finally ready!" Rukia said in a sing-songy voice.

"Aaah, finally ready dear Kuchiki-san?" Asano replied with a raising of an eyebrow.

"Yes I want to be close with you." Rukia replied, having no idea what the hell she was saying.

"Do you want to hold me?" Asano said, grinning.

"Yes!" Rukia said, holding her face.

"Make me hot?"

"YES!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Ichigo yelled, standing up from his chair, cutting through the soft laughter. Inoue's eyes widened at his actions.

"Alright, alright" Occhi said, motioning for him to sit but he did not "Asano, Kuchiki thanks that will _do_."

After seeing that a curious looking Rukia had taken her seat, Ichigo shot a very menacing warning look at Asano.

Everything she needed to know was in that look.

It read stay the hell away.

Perhaps…perhaps she had known it along…how Ichigo didn't return her feelings…but still...that didn't stop it hurting.

She bit her lip and tried to look somewhere else, breaths starting to become ragged.

She wished someone would just give her a hug…

"Inoue!" Mouth slightly open she looked up. Occhi was staring gently over at her.

"You and Kurosaki are next."

Closing her mouth, she nodded slightly. She began to make her way to the front.

What was she supposed to say again…?

Panic began to settle in her chest thumping away at her concentration as she tried to remember her lines, make her way foreword and push out the searing pain that was bleeding away her dreams.

Ichigo began. "It's not as though I'll never see you again, we're friends, I'll visit you some time."

There was a deafening buzz in her temples as she tried to clear herself. A loud scrunching of paper made her eyes flicker sideways, someone was playing with paper. Hadn't they been taught manners?

She looked back. Ichigo was gazing back at her, panic starting to reflect in his eyes.

"Inoue." He whispered to her.

"You're leaving …again?" the words suddenly blurted out.

Ichigo visibly relaxed.

"...What's the matter…Inoue…?" he continued.

Why…why did this exchanging of words feel so…real?

"You're always leaving. I don't understand why you always have to be gone. It feels like forever since you've visited home." The words rolled off her tongue like they meant nothing.

She had thought that it would be ok with him. He could ease her pain, take away her loneliness, and she his but…that place had already been taken, and it did not do being bitter. Don't be bitter…don't be bitter…

"I want you to know that it's a little **fucked up**, that I'm always stuck here waiting, trying to continue my life, trying to stay by the telephone, because your voice always helps me not feel so alone…"

She had skipped his line.

Ichigo struggled verbally, his eyes widened, as he tried to cover up her mess, and blend both lines…

_Just end it already…_

Orihime closed her eyes, not burdening others with her pain.

"I love you." It caught in her throat and she ran passed him outside the classroom as a sob wracked her body.

---

**End**

A/N: Wow, that was a bit depressing. Poor Orihime, the love she hides for Ichigo seems to be destined to be one-sided, at least so far in the show.

I'll leave you to decide whether Orihime had been right in her conclusion about Ichigo's glare, or whether she had simply misinterpreted his intentions…

Please review! See ya next time!


	14. And the worst of it all

Crack Love: Installment 14

Pairing: Renji/Rukia

Dedicated to: Star fire Hime.

A/N: Hey People, after forever and a day I am back with another installment!

Just to clear some things up, some quotes in my previous chapter were based off from Fort Minor's "Where'd you go"?" but weren't totally copied from the song, so I didn't trespass copyright infringement…I hope…0.0

Anyways I was in a light-hearted mood this evening due to no homework (WHOOP WHOOP…ahem…) and the fact it's nearly HOLIDAYS, so I decided to make a not-so-serious

Fic. Please excuse the following chapter, I am in such a good mood I couldn't let this idea go…

You're all probably gonna be SO angry with me by the time this fic is done…

**Title: And the worst of it all.**

Renji kicked a stone into the rippling pond, running a hand through his bound, red hair.

Beautiful morning…sun had hardly risen…this feeling was like a dream.

In a few minutes Rukia would be walking through those sliding doors, dressed in her black Shinigami robes for early morning training, just like every other day.

And he was gonna tell her that he loved her.

He had planned it all (_Rukia…how would you feel if I told you straight out I'm in love with_ _you?_) since the plight of Aizen and (to his relief) the return home of Kurosaki Ichigo and the others. These were precious times…and she…_she_ was just too precious to loose again.

After all these years of waiting and swallowing down, he was finally going to tell her.

But what would she say? What if she said no?

Renji shook his head, with a calming exhale. He couldn't think like that. He _wouldn't_.

He was a man of heart, and he'd rather be unloved than live an eternity not knowing.

There was a quirk in his chest at the thought of rejection.

The sound of sliding doors moving caught his ear's attention and he looked up.

_Oh god, here she comes…_

Rukia, beautiful, shiny-eyed Rukia tucking a stand of black hair back, came walking out.

Renji's breath caught in his throat, but he determinedly moved forward, it was now or _never_.

"Rukia." He said, approaching her.

"Renji" her eyes lit up in slight surprise "What are you-"

"Rukia." He said, grabbing her hands gently "What-what would you say if I told you-right here and now-that I'm in love with you?"

His heart was beating in his throat, Rukia's jaw dropped, and her hands slackened while his tightened.

"I…I…"

"Tell me Rukia!" Renji was getting desperate, no more waiting, he needed to know now!

"Something wrong, Run-chan?" a lazy pair of tanned arms wrapped around the said girl in front of him with an equally lazy voice. A small grin had formed on her face and she looked back. "Just Renji, Yoru-chan!"

In horror Renji stepped back as Yoruichi, grinning like a cat, crawled up from behind Rukia's shoulder.

"You see Renji, I'm already with Yoruichi." Rukia purred while the tanned woman nuzzled her neck.

Renji was about to vomit.

_How…how could this be…this couldn't be true…not Rukia…_

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**"

---

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**"

Renji sat up, panting like he had run a marathon. He ran a hand through his sweaty red hair.

_Holy shit…_

He tried to focus. Hold on, this was Rukia's room…Renji looked down, yup, definitely Rukia's bed…not that he stalked her.

The shifting warm body next to him caused him to look to the right. Rukia with messy, strewn hair moved around to face him.

"Hey you." She said, smiling.

"Er, Rukia?" he said uneasily to her "Er…why am I in here?"

"What? Don't you remember? Last night was _amazing_…" she replied in a throaty, morning voice.

Huh? Done…what? What the hell happened?

Renji looked down and lifted the covers an inch. Then blushed and put them down

_I don't remember any of this…but hey…I'm with Rukia…_

Deciding to push back any further thoughts he snuggled back down in the covers and placed an arm around her.

Then felt an arm wind around him.

Blinking, he frowned and shifted himself around.

Straight into the face of Ichigo.

"Hey you." He said, scowling "You were shit last night."

_What…how could this be…Ichigo?_

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**"

---

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**"

"Oi. What the hell's wrong with you?"

Renji blinked and looked up. Ichigo was standing in a wooden doorway, dressed in a black tuxedo complete with a rose- in- pocket.

Renji recoiled at the sight of him in the mirror, paling.

"Jeez, as though you look any _better_." He murmured back sarcastically.

Renji blinked and focused on himself in the mirror.

He was dressed in the same attire as Ichigo, with his hair in a disgusting low-pony.

"What's going on?" Renji asked shakily, looking back at the naartjie-head.

Ichigo gave him a dumb look. "Have you lost it? The_ wedding_."

"RUKIA'S WEDDING?" Renji shouted out.

Ichigo gave him an even dumber look.

"No, _your_ wedding. You really have lost it. Now come on, you're gonna be late." He pulled Renji by the wrist out the room, into the church hall to the altar.

It was crowded with random Shinigami and people he knew, but who the hell was he marrying? He hadn't agreed…damn planned marriages…

His question was answered. The crowd parted and down the aisle chapel music sounded. The crowd cheered and down the aisle walked Matsumoto Rangiku.

Renji was too preoccupied by his glimpse of Rukia being heartily kissed by what looked like Kira in the crowd. Ichigo scowled next them and gave him a what-the-_hell_ look.

_Kira and Rukia…this can't be…Matsumoto…hey that's not bad…no wait!_

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**"

---

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**"

"That's right. _Scream_."

Renji stopped screaming. Hold it, he knew that voice.

Aizen stood before him, a murderous expression on his face.

"I'll teach you, _punk_!" Aizen growled, reaching his spindly hands out for him. Renji backed up instantly.

"Aizen? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Acting like you don't know won't _work_."

"Why do you put an emphasis on every last word you say?"

"I don't _know_."

"Ok…so tell me what I did to offend you, seriously."

"Trying to have an affair with my _wife_." Aizen yelled, scrunching the front of Renji's gi with his fist.

"What the hell?" Renji yelled defensively "Who's your wife?"

"_Rukia!_"

Renji gasped and swallowed.

"Especially since I can show you a better time _anyday_." Aizen suddenly chirped, winking at him.

_How…how…oh screw that._

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**"

---

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**"

Rukia screamed, looking in the mirror. "I'm a_ girl_!"

"That's right Renji." A sneering voice next to him said "You are!"

Rukia jumped and looked next to her. A grinning Abarai Renji stood with his arms folded.

"You were so obsessed with me." He said "Day and night it was just about me. Well now you can be as close to me as possible. You are Kuchiki Rukia."

Rukia paled, shaking her head.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not!"

"You _are_ Kuchiki Rukia."

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**"

---

"Renji? Renji? You okay?"

The red-haired jerked his head up with a snort. His vision cleared and focused on the concerned-looking object of his affections.

"Rukia?" he murmured.

"You kind of fell asleep standing up" Rukia said with a twitch on her face "I found you here on my way out."

Yes, he was back where he started, by the lake with the risen sun…

"Well, I'm glad you're ok" Rukia said, shrugging awkwardly "I…guess I'll be going then."

She began to walk away. Renji watched her go.

_Thank God…_

"Renji!" Rukia was back in an instant. Renji paled.

"Renji!" she cried, throwing her arms around him "What if I told you I'm in love with you!"

Renji's eyes widened and he looked down at her.

This couldn't be a dream…It _couldn't_!

"I'd…I'd say that I loved you all along, Rukia…" he said huskily, blushing slightly.

"Renji, Arigatou!" Rukia sighed, resting against him. As if in a dream, he placed his hands around her too.

They stayed like that for a while, Renji never feeling happier.

"Renji" Rukia murmured from somewhere in his chest "I want you to ask for Nii-sama's consent."

Renji smiled and lifted a hand to pinch himself, to get rid of the dream in haste.

When nothing changed, his smile dropped and eyes widened.

Stiffly, he looked down at her. She had a stubborn glare fixed on him.

Oh god. Ask Byakuya?

This had to be a dream. It _had_ to!

"Oh great! Here he comes now!" Rukia said chipperly, peeking behind him.

…

"Renji?"

…

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**"

---

**Einde.**

A/N: I just thought it would be funny to show Renji's 'hidden psychological fears' and what truer way than through dreams! Ah, the truest fears are the real ones…

You liked it, right?

/Ducks flying keyboards. /

I told ya! Oh well, hopefully this was a nice little distraction from the homework you were meant to be doing! And seriously guys, you can flame if you want and put me out of my happy mood, but please don't KILL me! It can't be THAT bad!

/Ducks more flying keyboards and a random cellphone. /

Ok, ok, I take my leave!


	15. The Endings

Crack Love: Installment 15

Pairing: Kaien/Rukia

Dedicated to: Growing Pain

A/N: A drizzly, cloudy day…perfect to curl up by the computer and write fanfiction .!

Anyhow, I just felt like writing a serious piece after the previous chapter, this is a

Drabble, so I guess it won't be all that long, but I promise I'll update again soon!

Please enjoy!

**Title: The Endings**

The blood-red colour wouldn't fade with time. Neither would the dreams.

The Great Depression in her heart couldn't eat her alive, she had died long ago…

Along with him.

The red-stains on her hands. She could hide it, or fight it or simply choose to sleep near his heartbeat. The screams, from of all of them, were trying to wake her up.

But wasn't she awake, it was only _him_ who slept? Or could it be, maybe, she was sleeping too?

Sleep walking was another first after the accusing screeches of Kaien's death became her lullaby. Sometimes she would just open her eyes and find herself lying on the earth were he died. Perhaps that was just punishment from him, because she shut her eyes when he needed her most…

But tonight, another sleepless night, she simply sat in his room and wished he could come back. If only she could reach outside, to take a bigger breath of the lie she was living.

Padding quietly, sleepwalking, she lay near him, his warmth giving her life, his arms finding her.

She would fight until the end; the endings are all the same.

It was human to be scared, but she wasn't human. That boy wouldn't have much longer until he lost his humanity too. But why did she have such a burning desire to save him?

"Rukia?" he murmured quietly. She opened her eyes. And remembered this was Ichigo and not Kaien's (body) room.

Biting her lip she whispered "I'm lost without you, Kaien…"

Ichigo's grip tightened.

---

**End**

A/N: I just felt like writing one of those creepy type fics, or at least tried. Hope that "weirded" you out a bit, that's what I was going for :)!

Please review and tell me what you thought, I'd quite like to know what people make of this…

Till next time!


	16. The Cool of cool

Crack Love: Installment 16

Pairing: Ishida/Orihime

Dedicated to: Sango Hikari

A/N: I know, I know, I know…WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?

Sorry, sorry truly! I've been so busy with school work, with friends bla bla bla /insert lame, cliché excuse/ But, hey I'm back!

Waaah, it seems like the dudes in America are still on their summer vacation…are they? Well, anyways, everyone loves a good old Ishida and Orihime fic, plus I feel a little bad for the way she was left in the last story, but I will try my best to make it as original as possible .!

Enjoy please and review and request an absolutely _wacky_ pairing you want done!

**Title: The cool of cool**

Present day:

_I am no Superman, I don't have any reasons for you. I'm no real hero, you've got the wrong guy then…but I do know…where you are…is where I want to be…_

Ishida Uryuu wasn't the kind of guy to say that. In fact he_ hated_ that quote. So…Kurosaki gone _emo_…

He flipped through a few other pages of "Pick up lines for girls from boys."

He did NOT go and borrow it from the library (Just keep telling yourself that…).

And he was not the kind of guy to talk to a girl much less with _pick up lines_…

But…when it was a goal he was really passionate about achieving…Ishida Uryuu _was_ the type of guy who could flex himself.

Ishida looked up, his deep blue eyes widening at the sudden thought…

"That's it!" he cried, snapping the book shut and jumping up.

For those of you who are a bit confused as to WTF is going on… let's backtrack a bit to four days before…

---

Four days ago:

_Argh, Monday morning, this is exactly what I don't need…how did I get myself mixed up in this mess…?_

Currently all eyes of the classroom were on him. Now those who had watched Ishida Uryuu knew he wasn't fond of a lot of attention.

"What are you all looking at?" he barked, uncharacteristically "You're absolutely mad if you actually_ believe_ that…"

"_What_?" Tatsuki growled, looking at him for the first time.

Now what had happened went as following: Mizuiro told Ryou who told Michiru who told Mahana who told Orihime who told Tatsuki that Uryuu _liked_ her.

Ishida rolled his eyes…he knew he'd have to deal with this _some_ day, floods of girls expecting him to like them…

The current angry growl that had come from said girl made him jump out of his daydream.

Tatsuki, with eyes burning, was making her way over to his desk.

"You don't like me huh?" she murmured dangerously, placing her hands on his desk "What's _wrong_ with me?"

"Umm, er…." _His ass was about to get whupped-by a girl!_

"Arisawa-san!" Mizuiro came hurrying over, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Mizuiro…" Tatsuki's voice had lowered. He smiled at her.

"One of your friends must have heard wrong, it's … _me _who likes you" he blushed slightly "not _him_." Mizuiro jerked his head in the general direction of Ishida.

Both Ishida's and Ichigo's jaws had dropped.

Tatsuki actually blushed. "M-Mizuiro! Oh thank goodness it's you!"

Ishida flushed. **_What was that supposed to mean?_**

After school he went home and that night lay in his bed contemplating what had happened.

What was wrong with him…che, not that he _cared_…but …_seriously_, what was wrong with him…?

---

3 days ago:

The next day Ishida came to school, bag filled with school books, small bento for on the off-chance he would be hungry and a number of small sowing needles. Unfortunately, when he placed his bag on his desk, the quantity of them sent his bag toppling off the desk and onto the ground.

"Oh dear, there go my presents." Ishida sighed and bent down to pick everything up.

Beginning to stuff everything back he was suddenly face- full of firm rounded breasts.

"I-Inoue-san!" he gasped, pulling away as she knelt opposite him.

"Ohayou, Ishida-kun!" the orange-haired girl trilled, smiling widely.

"Um, erm, ohayou." Ishida replied, tugging at his collar. Truth be told he was always a little…wary around this one buxom-goddess, not because of her…assets but her outrageously friendly manner. (Not her assets…NOT her assets!)

"What are you picking up Ishida-kun?" she asked, still kneeling. Ishida blushed slightly.

"Um, well." In an attempt to prove to the class and namely Tatsuki that there was nothing wrong with him, Ishida Uryuu, he had decided to shower the class with presents of extra knitting needles he _really_ didn't need.

"It's…for everyone…a-a knitting needle…p-p-present!" he blabbered, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"Oooo! Everyone, Ishida-kun has presents for us!" Inoue shouted out, meaning well.

"Inoue no!" he yelled, but it was too late. The entire gallery of Freshman class A had crowded round.

"Present eh?"

"Gimme!"

"Come and get it!" Orihime said, standing up and scooping up all his needles, holding them out with a big smile. Everyone, including Kurosaki Ichigo, felt sweat drops form on their heads.

"Wait…doesn't anyone want any?" Orihime asked, smile dropping as everyone disbanded.

"I DOOO!" Kuchiki Rukia trilled.

"No you don't!" Ichigo growled, dragging the black-haired girl away by the collar.

Orihime turned around to the black-haired boy kneeled on the floor.

"I'm sorry Ishida-kun." She murmured.

"It's alright, Inoue-san." Ishida replied, pushing up his glasses. (Those fools will PAY!)

"I…just wanted to help…" Orihime whispered, wiping an eye.

Ishida gasped. "Please don't cry, Inoue-san!" he said, gripping her shoulders.

"I know!" Inoue suddenly cried out, a light bulb forming "I'll do something for you, Ishida-kun to make up for this!"

Ishida shook his head rapidly. "No, no it wasn't your fault-"

Inoue's large brown eyes watered up again.

He sighed mentally. Shifting his gaze to the side, his blue eyes fell on Tatsuki Arisawa, sitting next to Mizuiro.

"Well, you could help me with something…"

---

"Alright Ishida-kun, this is it! You want to be transformed into a cool guy and you asked the right person! Go up to that girl and talk to her." Inoue said, pointing to a long-blonde haired girl standing and reading a book at the school gates.

"Eh? NANI KA!" Ishida screamed without meaning to.

Orihime frowned. "Ishida-kun, you want to learn how to be a popular guy don't you? The first step is meeting and talking to people."

"B-B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but…" the thought…the very idea of…_socializing…_

"Come on!"

"I'm not like that, Inoue-san!"

She gave him a gentle push and he staggered off. Stopping next to the girl, he cleared his throat.

"Hem, hem."

The girl looked up and at him. Ishida immediately flushed.

"Y-You…I mean-I…you…have a coffee stain on your blazer."

The girl gasped and looked down, then promptly slapped him hard. Head spinning, Ishida realized.

_Ah yes…that mark was right in the mammary gland area…_

Orihime slowly took the hand covering her eyes off.

"Oh dear, that didn't go well, Ishida-kun really isn't the sociable type..."

---

2 days ago:

"Alright, Ishida-kun! It's a new day! A fresh start! Ganbatte ne!" Orihime cried, fisting her palm.

A fair amount of lady's base was smeared over the left of Uryuu's cheek and his expression was disdainful.

"Inoue-san, this is useless…"

"Don't say that, Ishida-kun, you'll become a cool guy in no time!"

Ishida sighed, how to tell her…?

"If you say so…"

"Now, being a cool guy is all about _attitude_. The way you walk. Walk for me, Ishida-kun."

Raising an eyebrow, he took several steps before retreating. Inoue nodded, a serious 'deep-thought' expression on her face.

"Not bad." She concluded "but very ordinary. You've got to walk with a bounce, see, like this." She walked, dipping her left leg with each step before coming up to take the step with the right. She spun around. "Your turn!"

Ishida swallowed. He took a step. And another. And another.

"Hey, I think I'm getting this!" he called out, feeling more confident.

The left corner of Orihime's lip tugged higher than the other. Ishida's walk was all wrong.

It looked like there was a heavy stone in his left shoe and his bag bounced with each step.

He was _terrible_…

"Mmm, yes I see." She called out, smiling politely.

_Ishida-kun really has no smooth movement in his body…_

---

_To be honest…that girl is so friendly…it's scary…_

Moonlight flooded through Ishida's open window and a cool breeze freshened the sticky, hot night. It was the type of night where sleep was hard to find. But it was not the temperature that had Ishida Uryuu tossing and turning.

He'd have to tell her tomorrow, it was sweet of her to try, but it wasn't working.

He'd tried. Honestly he had, but perhaps trying to find out what was wrong with him just wasn't worth it. He'd have to just swallow the insults thrown at him, always to be the one watching happy couples…not being one.

Che, why did it even bother him? It wasn't as though he _wanted_ to date… perhaps that would have been different if he'd been born un-shy…

And to be honest…Orihime had misinterpreted his request.

Ishida turned over. Yup, there were plenty more important things in life…like protecting people, not dating… not falling in love… not a family…but he'd be a terrible father anyway…

Yup…more important things…

Feeling the tiniest bit emotional, Ishida wiped the stupid speck of dust from his eye.

---

The previous day:

"Alright Ishida-kun, are you ready for the last step?" Orihime asked, smiling and pulling him by his arm round to the back of the deserted school building. Ishida had been grimly waiting for this.

"Inoue-san, stop." He said firmly. She turned around, a curious expression on her face.

"Ïshida-kun…?"

He sighed, this was going to be the hardest part of all. "Inoue-san, I don't want to hurt your feelings but…this isn't working."

"What do you…mean Ishida-kun?" the happy note had dropped from her voice, he noted.

"I'm…I'm not learning anything."

She opened her mouth. "No, no!" Ishida held up his hand "It's not you. It's me. I'm horrible at this…I give up."

"Don't be silly." Orihime had closed her eyes "You're fine!"

"You don't have to lie to me Inoue-san" Ishida smiled sadly "but thank you for your time."

He turned around and slowly began walking away.

"I…I was going to teach you how to _kiss_!" Inoue called to him.

Ishida stopped stiff.

"**WHAT!**" He yelled, spinning around.

Inoue blinked. "Well, it is the most important talent of a cool guy, but since…" she trailed off.

Ishida had absolutely no idea what to say. Inoue reached into her blazer and pulled out a short thin knitting needle.

…

…

"You…you kept it." Something about that moved him so deeply.

"I figured since I'd gotten a present from Ishida-kun, we could have been friends, and…since Tatsuki-chan is very busy now with Mizuiro-kun." She said, with a ghost of sadness "But if I was bothering you, you should have said something."

"Ah…Inoue-san."

"Good bye." She said bowing before turning around and walking away, the needle still clutched in her hand.

Ishida's mind was racing.

_**Go after her you idiot!**_

_No way!_

_**You have to!**_

_I can't do that!_

_**This is exactly your problem…**_

Ishida mentally slapped a hand to his head. Damn it! She wasn't just trying to teach him silly moves, she was trying to be his friend! Why the hell had he ruined that? Hadn't he been the one so obviously pining last night because he was lonely…?

_**Told you, that's exactly your problem…**_

He had to make it up to her, _prove_ to her he could be good company! He didn't care if it took him all night!

---

Present day:

Slamming the book shut Ishida chucked it to one side. He hurriedly picked up his bag noting he would be late if he didn't leave now. His breakfast lay at the table untouched.

"Ok, ok, relax…you can do this." He murmured as he walked along towards the school building "step bend, step bend, step bend…" he slowly tried repeating what Orihime had taught him, an embarrassed flush on his cheeks but his face was determined.

"Morning Kuchiki-san" he called to Rukia who looked back "you look _lovely _this morning." He gave a slight salute and walked on without looking back.

"Ishida," Rukia gasped, while Ichigo scowled "what just happened?"

"That doofus spent too much time in the sun yesterday." Ichigo growled.

"Target locked." Ishida murmured as he located the orange-haired girl sitting on a bench in the far corner of the entrance. He walked over.

_Dun na na naaa…oh god what am I doing…?_

"Hem, hem" he cleared his throat behind her. She jumped in surprise and looked around.

"Oh…good morning Ishida-kun." She stated quietly.

"It is Inoue-san." Ishida agreed, without waiting for her to offer he took a seat next to her, totally ready (not…).

"Inoue-san, four days ago when I asked you to give me some advice about being a more likeable person, you misunderstood me. You thought I meant for you to teach me to be more popular."

Orihime's voice was small, her eyes reproaching and wide. "I…I mistook?"

Ishida nodded. "And…I let you go along with it because it seemed to make you happy, not me, but I'll admit…it was fun."

He paused, taking a breath "And seeing you run off like that yesterday, I felt so terrible and I was determined to be the way you showed me, but then I realized that being that way is impossible for me. I'm not a popular guy, and well" Ishida pushed up his glasses "I may not be the most sociable person but I'm happy with the way I am."

He blushed. "And…well you hung around with me and…and you kept my needle, I hope I'm not wrong in thinking _you've_ accepted the way I am, so…" Ishida extended out his hand "I'd…I'd like your friendship very much Inoue-san!"

The growing smile on Orihime's face slowed. She testily took his hand, and shook it.

"You're right Ishida-kun, you're just fine the way you are, perhaps we're both cool in our…own ways. I'm looking forward to it!"

Joy soared in Ishida's heart. Finally! A friend! A **real** friend!

Those passing by looked faintly but had no _real eyes_ for the moment of real beauty enfolding before them. Even if it wasn't perfect. He wasn't the kind of person to change himself immediately, and she wasn't the kind of person to know everything there was about him.

But, that was what a friendship was all about, what made you different.

"Perhaps" he said quietly, looking down "you could give me some lessons in talking to a girl…and I could get a girlfriend."

Inoue blushed, her eyes wide.

"Well…Ishida-kun I…"

---

**The End**

A/N: Woo HOO! Man does it feel good to be back! Too bad it's school though…:(

Oh well, I hope that was a bit of sweetness for you all, don't ask where I got the idea of Ishida gangster-walking 0.0, it just came to me.

Ah, every kid's fear…the general population of their school. Heh, heh, sometimes it just comes naturally to some of us .0

Hehe just kidding, actually _everyone_ in my school is popular and equal, but perhaps it's just chilled schools in SA…hey what are all your guys schools like? Review and tell me, wont'cha?

Till next time (which WILL be soon)!


	17. The Saints are coming

Crack Love /the one and only/: Installment 17

Pairing: Gin/Rangiku

Dedicated to: Coro-sama!

**A/N: Hehe, hey everyone, after a very long break I am back writing Bleach! Sorry for the lack of updates, but I have been trying to relax these past months and focus on my schoolwork a little more…**

**Gomen, though I have also been quite busy with updating my other stories! **

**Hey… where'd Growing Pain go?…:(**

**Happy almost Christmas and New Year everybody! Jingles and Christmas lights for everyone! Sorry if Gin seems a bit OOC in this (I know I also hate OOC) but I imagine him being more comfortable around Rangiku…especially since it's the end…**

**Pweez enjoy this Christmas fic and PWEEZ review and give me a wacky cracked pairing to work with! Gin and Matsumoto ROCK!**

Title: The saints… are coming

Blood splattered the side of Rangiku's cheek as a particularly vicious Arrancar slashed wildly at her, his jagged teeth bared.

Rangiku growled. "Back off" she warned, forcing him off her with her zanpakutoh.

The Arrancar smiled widely "Why don't you use your Shikai dear Shinigami?" it hissed tauntingly.

The blonde woman's green eyes narrowed at the jibe.

Here, in Hueco Muendo, Aizen seemed to have placed a kido charm all around, preventing zanpakutohs from being released, which in some ways actually had perks as Aizen's charm prevented himself and his minions from using shikai or worse bankai.

That way Ichigo's hollow would have less of a chance of being released in any case…

Growling again, the blonde woman grabbed her sword and rammed it into the grinning arrancar's chest with speed. His grin quickly turned into a malicious glare and, not taking his eyes of hers, pushed the sword even deeper into himself. Disgusted, Matsumoto heaved and pulled out her sword and swung it over, chopping off its head before he even realized it.

This was it, the great winter war being fought in the sandy dunes of Hueco Muendo, where blood and raged reigned. Currently, she and other vice captains were leading the assault on Aizen's minions of hollows and _disgusting_ arrancars. It had been a long and hard day fighting. If Rangiku learned one thing from this experience, it was that wars were long. Wars were hell…

Trying not to puke at the gross vision before her, Rangiku turned heavily, holding up her sword defensively for any surprise attacks. Lowering her sword a bit, she turned to face the castle in the distance.

The captains had taken to the castle to attack Aizen, led by Kurosaki Ichigo with eyes of steel.

Forgetting where she was, she idly wondered of her captain was alright, she remembered his face as he had charged into the castle, his icy expression frighteningly obvious. But of course, he had personal disputes with Aizen Souske.

As though in a trance she raised her zanpakutoh and clashed with another, weaker, Arrancar.

She peeked over the creature's shoulder, it did look as though they were winning.

The Hollows obviously continued to appear, but the number of arrancars seemed to be dropping quickly.

That wasn't to say there weren't many of their troops left though, many scattered bodies in black uniform littered the dirt brown ground and jagged surrounding rocks…one close by looking suspiciously like Kuchiki Rukia…

Eyes widening, Matsumoto rammed her zanpakutoh, again, through the Arrancar and it dropped down screaming, and scattering red blood.

Rangiku gripped her sword and made way to hurry over to her fallen friend.

With two steps taken a clammy hand grasped around the back of her throat. It lifted her up as though she weighed nothing. Gasping, Matsumoto struggled, her blonde hair flaying, her hands wringing, trying to prize open the hand choking her.

But it was just too strong, and her breathing began to get strenuous. "This is the end for you." The voice of the person behind whispered in her ear. The graying sky above her, with white-grey clouds began spinning. Round and round, and the brownish dust blinded her eyes and made them water.

_This is the end… _She thought vaguely to herself…_I wonder what rebirth's like…. Will I forget everything? Will I remember over time? _

Through her long day-dream, only a moment seemed to have passed, and Rangiku, weary and so tired, resigned herself for what was about to happen…

Then she was stabbed.

Or at least…she thought she was, Matsumoto felt the blade pushing against her delicate back but strangely she hadn't been stabbed yet. Damnit! If only she had the strength to look around at her attacker.

"Let her down."

That voice sent a shiver down her back, her face paled. A stammer was heard behind her.

"But-but Ichimaru-sama, our orders are to-"

The hand on her throat let go suddenly and Matsumoto fell to her knees, hitting reality, and gasping.

Massaging her throat, the blonde Shinigami turned around with difficulty. Through her slightly watery eyes the arrancar's throat was currently being crushed easily in the hands of a non-smiling Ichimaru Gin.

_Oh god…_

All shouts, screams, orders and clashes of the outside world seemed to tone down and she could only see _him_. His long-fingered hands; his silvery hair; his slitted eyes, and his smile. Oh yes, his smile…

---

Gin looked back up, tossing the dead Arrancar aside like a doll, and noticed a pair of blue eyes staring at him. He had been suppressing his reatsu the whole time.

There, half-kneeling was Matsumoto with slight surprise on her face.

He smiled gently again and began to walk over to his old friend. His only friend.

Matsumoto steeled herself and stood up as the predator began to advance towards her. She would NOT be weak in front of him. She was NOT going to play the weak helpless girl in need of saving…just like she had all those years ago…

"Matsumoto." He murmured, almost uncertainly, as he stopped before her.

She did not even bother to reply, her expression showing disgust.

Rangiku held out her sword. "Prepare to fight me." She said coldly, her blue eyes glittering.

Gin's smile never faltered for a second, he knew her better.

Taking one step closer to her, she took one back.

"D-Did you not hear me?" Matsumoto said, loosing her thread "I said-"

And before she knew it, she was pressed into Gin's chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her.

"_Rangiku_" he whispered tenderly into her ear. He inhaled the scent of her hair, her soft curves pressed against him…_His_ Rangiku…yes, he had missed her very much…

The surrounding beings were all too focused on their own private battles to take note of, and perhaps had they slowed down and paid more attention they would have seen, the amazing spectacle that was taking place in the battlefields of Hueco Muendo.

His tenderness made her _want_ to cry, and she pushed him roughly away from her.

"How dare you." She murmured at his pale, grinning face.

_I won't cry…I won't cry…_

But his next statement immediately brought tears to her eyes.

"I've missed you." He admitted softly, with no malice in his voice.

She growled and took another step back, but faultered, her ankle was broken and she fell forward.

_Of **course** he has to save me_…she thought bitterly as his stable; sure arms wrapped around her waist and steadied her.

"I'm glad I found you." He whispered, still holding her. And suddenly she was whisked away in his arms and shun-poed to behind an enclosing of high jagged rocks, some place away from the fighting.

He laid her down gently, propping her up against a rock. Rangiku glared at him, he paid no heed, looking over the rocks and seeing of any one had noticed.

As he looked back a blade was shoved in his face and placed under his neck, ah, the stubborn girl chose not to listen to him again, for she was up on her feet again.

He looked at her. "Rangiku."

"Don't call me that!" she suddenly spat, pushing the cold blade further into his neck.

"I'm going to turn you over anyway, so just hurry up and fight me!" her eyes closed momentarily, then hardened once they opened again.

A slight twinge of sadness flickered in his smile, and he made no move to hide it.

"Matsumoto-san" he said evenly "at least let me treat your wound-" he pointed to her injured ankle.

"-then you can kill me…_ne_?"

She lowered her sword, it wasn't a trick, she knew him too well to know it wasn't a trick.

"This doesn't mean that I trust you." She warned. Gin chuckled.

"I know, Matsumoto-fuku taichou." _I know…_

She ignored his formal usage of her name.

Silently, he pulled out a jar of healing ointment from his robes, and kneeled, rubbing gently on her ankle as though it would break.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked quietly _I'm already covered in blood…_

Gin looked up at her. "I don't want you to be in pain." He said simply, placing the jar back inside his robes.

Matsumoto almost burst out laughing. "You didn't want me to be in _pain_?" she spluttered "PAIN? What do YOU THINK I felt after you left m-us?" she leant back against the rock, breathing deeply, now that she had shouted once…she just didn't have the energy to shout anymore.

Gin sighed, of course she was going to be angry.

"I never meant to cause you any pain Rangiku-san."

"Yet somehow, you _always_ manage to."

Rangiku immediately knew she had gone too far. The momentary shock and hurt which flashed in his red eyes was quickly hidden. He smiled again, albeit coldly.

"I made the better choice Matsumoto-fuku taichou." _I did it all for you…_

"Soul Society will not last long. Your captains, your **_saints_**- Aizen will destroy everything! Matsumoto, join me it's the only way."

_Join me…and be safe…_

Rangiku opened her mouth to answer his offer, and a part of her wanted to shout at him; tell him how betrayed she felt and how angry she was, and another part just wanted him to hold her again; tell her everything would work out, like he used to.

Gin's eyebrows rose, his smile widening.

"No." … _I know you did it for me…but that doesn't excuse murder._

Gin sighed. That was not the answer he _needed_ to hear.

"Once Aizen is destroyed the captains will find you here, and you-you _will _be punished for your crimes!" _Gin…why didn't you just let me die that day?_

A single tear rolled out of her eye and she tried to blink it away.

So much for not playing the weak damsel in front of him, he always managed to make her feel so small and inferior in his mighty presence. But of course, he had _never_ used that to his advantage, never forcing her to do anything against her will.

Silently, Gin wiped it away with a single finger, the very hand he could use to crush her at any minute. He never liked to see her cry.

"Then you leave me no choice, I will be forced to bring you before Aizen when your comrades are destroyed. Gomen ne." His smile waned.

"No!" Rangiku turned her face away from him as a sob escaped her throat "No! Don't say you're sorry, as though it's going to make it alright" she shook her head "I know I shouldn't, but I still care about you." She whispered to herself

A slightly awkward silence fell between the silver-haired man and his best friend.

Emotion began squirming inside him too, slowly but surely.

"Rangiku…ore wa…"

He didn't know what he could say, nothing could comfort her. He knew this was his fault, but, selfishly, he didn't apologise.

Suddenly she had thrown her arms around his shoulders, her golden splashing across his face. And he was hugging her back tightly, as the sun began to set in Hueco Muendo.

"Gin…" she sobbed onto his shoulder "_Gin_…"

Rangiku looked up at Gin and she hastily pressed her lips to his, cupping his face.

Desire coursed through him like an electric shock, though he made no move to kiss her back.

A sudden blast of reatsu pushed them apart. Gin's eyes slitted open questioningly.

"A-Aizen?" he murmured, "no…it's…"

They were both suddenly pressed downwards by the amazing reatsu flowing from the castle.

They both looked over the rocks.

In all her remaining years, Rangiku would never forget the look on Gin's profile as he gazed onwards. His eyes were open and exposed fully his rounded red pupils and a slight gasp passed his thin, opened mouth. He was shocked at what he saw.

The battle field was littered with a thousand bodies, the Shinigami that weren't dead were slowly but surely rounding up the remaining Arrancar, who seemed to be resigning.

And using shun-po the weary captains were leaving the castle, backed up by Kurosaki Ichigo.

Which could only mean one thing.

Pushing the shock aside, Ichimaru forced himself to stay clear-headed.

They would sense Matsumoto's reatsu for sure. He turned to her.

"The saints…they are coming." He said quickly. The tears were still imminent on Rangiku's face.

"Rangiku" he began again "Are you…going to turn me over?"

"W-What?" she spluttered, almost dropping Haieneko.

Gin's eyes narrowed again, seriousness taking over.

"Rangiku" he said, taking hold of her chin "I'll only leave here at your wish, if you let me go, I'll go, if you turn me in…so be it. My life in _your_ hands."

But Matsumoto was looking up at him, only spluttering confusedly. The fading sun's rays were falling around his face, casting a strange golden light to outline his head.

"I…I don't…"

"Matsumoto fukutaichou!" Rangiku jumped and looked around. Four Shinigami had appeared atop the jagged rocks, in an instant they automatically surrounded Gin, binding the man's arms behind his back.

She opened her mouth to protest, but remembered herself.

"Matsumoto fuku taichou, we have captured Ichimaru Gin, permission to move out?" one of them called to her.

_His life was in her hands_, she could do as she pleased. She wanted to save him.

Not even looking at him she lowered her gaze to the ground.

"I……take him."

It was said without emotion.

She flickered her eyes up, daring to see his reaction. Utter betrayal flickered beneath his slitted eyes as he surveyed her, his smile gone, but Gin turned his face so she wouldn't see him.

"Ichimaru Gin, the crimes you have committed towards Soul Society are punishable by immediate execution."

Rangiku looked up, her eyes widening.

He had given up; Gin didn't even bother resisting the weak Shinigami transporting him away.

"No wait!" she called after them "Please don't kill him!" _Please don't kill him…_

She had sent him to die… after all he had done for her.

Letting out a howl, the blonde girl fell down, sobbing.

Why…why did it have to be like this…?

"**_WHY_**?" She screamed to the air, everything around her blackening.

The last she registered was the earth-shaking scream of Kurosaki Ichigo as he discovered the dead body of Kuchiki Rukia…

---

Hours later Hitsugaya, sorting out Matsumoto now that the gruesome execution had taken place, found a rumpled; shivering mess that was his vice-captain.

"_I love Rangiku-san!" the child Gin called out, his pearly grin widening._

_The little blonde girl blushed slightly but said back. "I…love Gin-san too…"_

"_I hope I can marry you one day!" his smile was pure._

---

**The End**

**A/N: Wow, I hope you enjoyed that, I haven't written in ages so I hope it was a good re-introduction! Please tell me what you thought of it, I'm quite proud of it. I called it the saints are coming to signify the fact that the captains are coming out, to get Gin whom Rangiku loves, and the seemingly-long wait while she's given a choice. A choice which she resolved to quickly, and truly regretted later…Kinda like the saints are coming…what will you do…? **

**Tell next time!**


	18. Make Me Bad

Crack Love: Installment 18

Pairing: Gin/Rukia

Dedicated to: FuturePast and Deidre's Dreams

A/N: Ah…ahem…I'm not even going to try and make up an excuse as to why I haven't updated in over a year, it'll sound too pathetic! I guess honestly the Bount Arc put me off Bleach and since I don't really read the manga I lost track BUT I AM BACK!!!!!

This pairing is twisted with a capital T and has so much potential, this story is a little shorter than my usual but I am getting back into the habit of writing so I'm starting out small. Oh yeah, this story is twisted and warnings for graphic violence and sexual themes.

Revel in the twisted-ness!

**Title: Make Me Bad**

Tears splashed down her cheeks. Fingers trembled and blood stained, her lank hair fell over to one side.

"Ichigo…"

It shouldn't be like this. _Why did it have to be like this?_

She laid her head on Ichigo's still chest, pouring her tears onto him, as though they were drops of resurrection water. But Ichigo didn't move; just lay there in a pool of his own blood which he had obviously suffocated in, his hollow mask still on. She tried to pull it off, but it wouldn't budge. It was his face.

Paling, Rukia stood up shakily backing away from her dead friend. The surrounding screams and colliding crashes drowned out like a buzz.

_Who killed you Ichigo…?_

Hueco Muendo had become a smoky, bloody playground of death.

"Rukia-chan."

She stiffened, violet eyes turning skywards. Sure enough there he was, towering over like her shadow. Like some sort of snake hanging off a tree to look at its prey.

"I'll kill you."

Gin's grin widened. "Rukia-chan." He chirped again.

"You killed Ichigo, I'LL KILL YOU!"

Spinning around she grabbed her sword and drove it through him, but in a flash he was gone and stood in front of her.

Snapping her head back Rukia growled loudly, baring her teeth.

"Dance…"

But then Gin grabbed her thin wrists making her drop her sword. He forced her down on the ground, pressing his weight on her.

"Ah." Rukia winced at his full weight pressing all over her petite frame.

Gin's face was inches above of hers. "Rukia-chan, this is _exactly_ where I like you."

Gin laughed taking in her splayed hair and her wrists still trapped by him.

"Get _off _me you sick bastard!" Rukia struggled against the traitor.

"Now, now, I need to know if you're going to behave Rukia-chan" Gin reprimanded, his silver hair blowing in a slight breeze made him look angelic.

"Aizen-sama said I can keep you but-" He dipped his head and licked the expanse of her neck "-_only_ if you behave yourself!"

Oh god, he wasn't going to…? "Please get off me." Rukia pleaded, tears forming again.

"Now, now Rukia-chan" Gin said, releasing her wrists "Yer lucky I ain't gonna kill you, so no crying now, I don't like it when you cry."

He said it with such sincerity; she looked at him in surprise. He grinned again and ran his hands up and down her sides, making her shiver.

"I don't know _what _it is about you…that makes me feel this way Rukia- chan" his mouth whispered into her ear "But I want to see you break."

His lips brushed over her forehead. "Don't tell Rangiku." He whispered, his eyes opening a fraction.

A burst of air escaped Rukia's tight lips when she felt him spread open her robe. Her arms previously stiff with fear reached up and pushed him away.

"Stop it!" she cried out. She would not cry anymore. She had to be strong like Ichigo. And he would _never_ want her to give in, no matter the odds against!

"You killed Ichigo! I hate you, and I would rather you snap my neck right now!"

Her violet eyes glittered with anger, her hands still on Gin's chest pushing away.

Gin's smile faded. "That's no fun Rukia-chan. And I didn't kill the Ryoka boy" he said seriously "his hollow form took over and threatened to destroy everyone, so he stabbed his blade through himself to stop himself."

Rukia glanced over at her friend's dead body lying next to her, it was true there was no sign of a struggle in the grass, and there was a big; bloody gash in his chest that was _still _bleeding.

"No." she whispered.

"Yes." Gin hissed, excitement rising in his voice "That's right Rukia-chan. Now break for me. Get loose for me. I've shattered your resolve before." Perversely, he licked her neck again, this time sucking on it gently, earning a groan from the girl underneath him

"And I can do it again."

Rukia had never been kissed before, let alone have that done to her before by a man-she hadn't meant to! She had dreamed about it a few times, though always of someone else.

As if reading her thoughts, Gin uttered "My little Rukia-chan, my little innocent flower, don't worry-It won't hurt you! You can even _call_ me Ichigo-" he grinned widely "I think I'd like that…"

Rukia's eyes widened at him. "You're sick!" she spat.

"My, but Rukia-chan what could I say for you?"

He gestured downwards, Rukia's eyes fell. Her hands had unknowingly slipped into Gin's obi and were resting on his warm chest.

"I…"

So shameful. So disgusting. So _corrupt_.

"You see" Gin whispered "You thought all there was too life was doing what was right, but then you found something else…something that makes you happy. You think that the only thing worth doing was the right thing, but then you discover" his grin widened "it's the _wrong_ things that make you feel alive Rukia-chan. I know you enjoyed it."

"N-no!" Rukia screamed and, wrenching back her hands, slapped him audibly across his cheek. Her heart raced as she looked at his profile, would he hurt her now? But when he looked back he was baring his teeth in a grin.

"See what I mean? It's happening to you just as it happened to me. We're one in the same _Kuchiki-sama_."

Reaching up Rukia grabbed Gin's robe and crashed her lips against his. His red eyes widened but he pulled her closer. Then they suddenly broke for air.

"I knew you'd come 'round my lil' Rukia-chan!" His eyes were drunk with desire now.

"BAKUDOH NO KIDO-SAI!"

Gin's stiff body hit the ground with a dull thump before he could even register it, his eyes widening. Rukia grabbed Sode no Shirayuki, Gin could break free in moments-

Squelch. A hoarse cry of pain erupted from Gin's mouth as Rukia drove her sword deep into his stomach. Blood pooled from the large wound formed, Rukia's mouth grimaced.

"Burn this into your mind, **BASTARD**!"

She dug her sword deeper, now touching the ground on which he was lying. Gin screamed again, blood was running from his mouth, staining his teeth.

"Lesson one-Don't get distracted by the enemy!" Rukia kicked his side and he screamed helplessly again.

"Lesson two-You and I are_ completely_ different!" Rukia pulled out her zanpakutoh slightly and pushed it back in, eliciting another tortured scream.

"Lesson three-I am not _**your**_ Rukia-chan!"

She pulled out and stabbed him again, in the chest, secretly reveling in his pained cries. Black blood was pooling out of his whole front, it wouldn't be long before he suffocated in his own blood…just like Ichigo did…

He fell back down, he had broken the kidou spell, but was too injured to even sit up let alone fight.

And then…His voice was raspy. "You…are…'njoyin this…ain't 'cha Ru…kia." He hacked and coughed wildly. One last bloody grin was sent her way before his head plopped down quietly on the ground.

Rukia shivered, extracting her blade, and wiping it on the grass. She dared a peep. Gin's eyes were wide open and glassy, the red looked duller, the ever-present grin still smeared with blood on his lips.

_That bastard died with a grin on his lips__…_

He was dead, she had faced him. Gone were her nightmares! But then…new ones had taken his place…

_Don't listen to him…you didn't enjoy it…don't listen to him._

She shivered.

_You're a good person…nothing like him…you just did what you had to do!_

"_We're one in the same…__"_

Rukia grabbed Sode no shirayuki and flew into the smoky red abyss-determined to prove that she and Ichimaru Gin were not the same-

"_Inoue; Ishida; Chad; Nii-sama, I'm coming!"_

"_It's the wrong things that make you feel __**alive**__…"_

-And shivered in her uncertainty.

---

**Owari**

A/N: Well, that disturbed me while I was writing it…I think I'm gonna go read stories about fairies and unicorns…

Yeah, don't get me wrong I love Gin, but I just decided to make him **extra** twisted, because he does act more strange than usual when around Rukia…and she learned from him…

But oh yeah, Rukia totally whipped Gin in the end, you go girl! Well, that's all for now, please review and tell me what you thought! Till next installment!


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